30 Days to Live: What are Your Regrets?
October 6, 2008
What would you do differently if you found out you had 30 days left to live? Would you go home and hug your kids (instead of yelling at them to be quiet so you can work)? Would you take your wife out on a date and watch the stars till 2 A.M.? Would you make a few phone calls to finally say, “I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you.”?
When confronted with the reality that the end of life has arrived, people reevaluate what is really important in life and set to the task of establishing new priorities. Do I only have 30 days left to live? Perhaps. Perhaps you do, too. We never really know, do we?
I’m reading One Month to Live: 30 Days to a No Regrets Life, by Chris and Kerry Shook. For me, it’s an extension of a lesson I began learning in December. You see, I learned to view life a little differently recently, and I think it has helped me tremendously, in business and at home, and I thought I would share it with you.
Lessons From a Hospital Room
My lesson began where no one wants to be, sitting in the corner of a hospital room, watching someone who looked a little like my father sleep. I received a phone call from my dad’s significant other earlier that afternoon.
“Jamie? It’s Jeff, they took your dad to the hospital, they don’t know what’s wrong.” I hesitated only a second to evaluate if my children were fully dressed and said, “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in 40 minutes.”
Thousands of thoughts raced through my head during that 40 minute drive, some of them angry, some terrified. I walked into the hospital room to see a tiny, bald, toothless man with yellowed skin and dark bruising over his arms. He was curled into a fetal position and mumbling incoherently. I spoke, but he was in his own world, unaware that anyone was in the same room.
The doctor explained his condition, prescribed a long list of medications to help alleviate the symptoms, and sent him home with Hospice to die. Dad had a few lucid moments, and even a rare good day before he passed away in April at the age of 57.
From the day my dad left the hospital, I began thinking differently. What happened in the past no longer mattered, my dad was dying. What did matter was the few precious days I would have with him now.Old hurts that ran deep suddenly were flies to be brushed away so I could see clearly how much I loved my dad.
I no longer took my own life for granted. My dad’s illness brought home the fact that I could die at age 57, too. I could only have a few more days with my kids, or my husband. I may only get one more visit with my mom, or my baby brother. In a single day, life became a wisp of fog, and I was determined to catch it and hang on for all I was worth.
That’s what One Month to Live is all about, holding onto a life worth living.
So what did I change in my life? I spend less time working. I went back to college for the sake of learning, not just for a degree. I revamped my business. I spend a lot of time with those I love. I went away for the weekend with my husband for the first time in 10 years. I took a long vacation with my family. I chartered a sailboat and saw dolphins in the wild. I spit in the face of my fears and learned to trust God more. I learned how to belly laugh again.
I’m learning how to live a no regrets life.
Again, I ask you, what would you do differently with only 30 days left to live?
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain
(I “stole” that quote form Lance’s website JungleofLife.com. He posted it on Sunday, just as I was finishing this post and it fit so perfectly that I couldn’t pass it up. Great minds think alike, Lance, thanks.)
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