For Sale: Ran Great Yesterday
October 13, 2008
“I’m at school. The car won’t start.”
Silence.
“Did you hear me?”
“Yep.”
Silence.
I wait, breathe deeply, squash my irritation and panic, and try to remember all the things I love about my husband.
All I can think about is where I need to be in an hour, and how am I going to get the boy to school in the morning if the car is dead?
After an eternity, He speaks, “What’s it sound like?”
I roll my eyes, look around to see who’s in the parking lot and attempt to imitate the car noise, “plah, plah, plah, plah, plah.”
I can hear him smiling.
“What’s it doing?”
“It’s not doing anything, that’s the point.”
“Does it have gas?”
“YES IT HAS GAS! I DYE MY HAIR THIS COLOR!”
Now, he’s really grinning.
“You’re getting a kick out of this aren’t you? Listen…” I hold the phone out, hit the speaker button, and crank the key.
“I don’t hear anything.”
“That’s my point! Can you come get us?”
“Yep” Click.
My husband can fix anything. He was born that way~ with wrench in hand, looking for a nut to turn. He built a heavy duty trailer from scratch. Then he built a heavy duty truck from scratch to pull that trailer. Now he’s building a flat bed to go on the truck. Handy that, especially on days like this.
He pulls into the parking lot, takes the keys, and starts the car. Just like that~ and grins.
“I hate you. That car loves me, it never leaves me sitting. Please check it over, I thought I smelled antifreeze.”
The car pulls forward, revealing a large wet spot. “That’s oil. And antifreeze. You still have that gallon in the trunk? What about that oil I put back there?”
I grit my teeth. “This article said you should remove all unnecessary weight from the trunk to help improve gas mileage and… I took it out.”
He clenches his jaw and stares at the ground, probably to keep from strangling me.
“Let’s get it home.”
“You following me?”
“That depends. Are you driving like an old woman?”
“Aren’t we full of quips and sarcasm today?”
The car makes it half way up the hill before the temperature skyrockets and the oil light comes on. I freak out, whip the car off the road into a shallow ditch, turn off the engine, and pull the kids out of the backseat in seconds. Steam billows from the hissing engine.
“I tried to get off the road as fast as I could. I was afraid it would catch on fire. I didn’t mean to pull into the ditch. Did I blow up the engine or did I shut it off it time? I hope the whole thing didn’t just crap out. That ditch looks deeper from out here. I have eggs in the trunk. Are you mad?”
Silence.
More silence.
Agonizing silence.
“How much money do you have in the checking account? This is going to cost you.”
“Now I have to PAY you to fix my car!”
“Nope. I was thinking about leaving it here with a For Sale sign. Maybe someone will steal it. Then we can go buy a Jeep~ with ground clearance.”
For Sale:
One dark green Chrysler Concorde LXI. Black leather, automatic everything, moon roof, killer Infinity stereo. New tires. 3/4 tank Marathon gas, fully charged air conditioner. Ran great YESTERDAY. Mud on undercarriage~ free of charge. Last seen on Watson Creek Rd. Motivated seller. Hurry, won’t last long. It’s a vandal’s dream.
Comments
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idris
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Jamie Simmerman
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Idris
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Jamie Simmerman
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Lance
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Vered - MomGrind
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Graham Strong
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Matthew Dryden
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Jamie Simmerman
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dcrelief
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Jamie Simmerman
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B J Keltz
