photo credit: preciouskhyatt
When the concept of surrendering and getting real began to surface in my life, I had mixed feelings. Mostly fear and excitement, but some anxiety and wariness as well.
When the excitement hit, I started envisioning a blog post. It was based on the fact that Christians are to confess our sins to each other, and failure to do so creates physical, emotional, and spiritual sickness in our lives. [Truth be told, over half of the sickness treated by the medical community today has a spiritual root, such as the failure to confess sins. (I would venture to say it is probably closer to 80-90%.)]
I began to think of how we are all afraid to reveal our weakness and failures, despite the fact that we each have them. How powerful would it be if someone were to take that first step and say, “This is me, the real me. I fail, I hurt those I love, I do bad things when no one is looking. I struggle, I stumble, I think more of myself than I do of others. I lie, I cheat, I am the master of denial. I try hard, do better for awhile, then fail miserably. I am broken. I am human. I am a Christian.”?
If I could interview someone who was willing to be real, maybe others could see their faults are similar, and that it’s ok to be real with each other. But then the voice of reason chimed in and asked me where I would find such a person willing to submit themselves to public scrutiny- nowhere, that’s where.
Then, I got an email. Several emails in fact, from Lance at Jungle of Life. We were discussing surrender and getting real and I gave him the link to listen to my pastor’s sermon. He listened, and it hit him like it was hitting me. I never told him about my desire to do a “real interview”. I asked him to write out his thoughts on the sermon and see if we were both hearing the same thing. We were. And this is what Lance sent me:
Real.
What is that, anyway?
I am a Christian, a faithful servant seeking peace and love in this world we’re in.
Is that real? Is that how I live my life?
Or is it a little uglier than that?
I can get up on a Sunday morning and spend a couple of hours praising God. It will be all about showing love for Jesus. What happens, though, when I leave that moment I’ve had? What about the other 166 hours during the week? Am I continuing to show my love for God? Am I acting like the Christian I claim to be – one of love and mercy? Or perhaps, do I wear a different mask, one that fits the image I think society expects of me? And, if I’m doing this – wearing a mask over my true convictions – what does this say for being real?
Or maybe “real” is something altogether different.
What kind of barriers am I putting up every hour of every day? Barriers to protect the “who I really am”. Barriers to not let my guard down, to not let out any secrets that might not “fit” with the image others expect to see. I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, and I don’t want to lose parts of that because I don’t match the standard people are expecting. How often have I “changed” just to protect an image. And how “real” is that?
Lies.
What about God in all of this? God loves us just the way we are. Are we perfect? Hardly. I’m a sinner (there, I said it!). I believe in a God who sent His son, Jesus, our Christ, to die for us. For these sins I’m committing. Yet, I hide behind walls to protect myself. What am I protecting? Am I concerned about what other might think? If they only knew…
- I’ve yelled at my kids for no reason at all
- I’ve shunned my wife because of my own selfish pride
- I’ve belittled others for no reason at all
- I’ve put on the face of a happy marriage, on days when things have been ugly
- I’ve shouted obscenities to the driver in the lane beside me
…and surely worse. Does this change your view of me? …because I haven’t shown these characteristics before? It’s easy, here at computer and keyboard – to become who we desire to be. Is that real, though? Or is this just another way to put up walls. To protect that image of what we want to be known for? Secrets hidden, for a life we want to believe is us.
We are “real”, all of us. Yet, we hide that “real” all too often. It’s time to let the “real” you out, and trust that there are people out there who will encourage you, support you, trust you, and love you. Your life is meant to be lived, and that’s about being real and being authentic.
Real.
What is that, anyway?
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Whoaaa. Way to lay it bare.
We talked about What Is Real a while back ourselves at PassingThru, and I quoted the Skin Horse from The Velveteen Rabbit. To paraphrase, when you are worn thin and shabby from being loved with abandon, as a child does with a beloved companion, you are created real by that love. I’d say the Man Upstairs has already worn us very thin in that respect. If only we realize and remember He does.
I am so happy to have read this post.
Betsy Wuebker´s last spectacular blog post..PLAY OFFENSE WITH YOUR LIFE’S WORK
Whoaaa. Way to lay it bare.
We talked about What Is Real a while back ourselves at PassingThru, and I quoted the Skin Horse from The Velveteen Rabbit. To paraphrase, when you are worn thin and shabby from being loved with abandon, as a child does with a beloved companion, you are created real by that love. I’d say the Man Upstairs has already worn us very thin in that respect. If only we realize and remember He does.
I am so happy to have read this post.
Betsy Wuebker´s last spectacular blog post..PLAY OFFENSE WITH YOUR LIFE’S WORK
Hi Jamie, Hi Lance: It is easy to edit who we really are when we’re sitting at home typing into our computers. We can type out a message and then add and delete until it fits perfectly into the image we’re trying to create. In fact, isn’t that branding: making sure our message is always consistent with the image we want to portray of ourselves and our product. At the same time, we’re all aware that nobody is that perfect in “real life”.
Of course Lance sometimes says things more harshly than he would have wanted to his family, because he’s human. And who hasn’t yelled something nasty at a driver who carelessly cuts us off? I think that the more comfortable someone is with themselves, the more real they are in any situation.
Lance, I don’t think you’ve been putting up a wall until now, I just think that you’re doing the best you can. And that’s the only thing we can do.
Hi Jamie, Hi Lance: It is easy to edit who we really are when we’re sitting at home typing into our computers. We can type out a message and then add and delete until it fits perfectly into the image we’re trying to create. In fact, isn’t that branding: making sure our message is always consistent with the image we want to portray of ourselves and our product. At the same time, we’re all aware that nobody is that perfect in “real life”.
Of course Lance sometimes says things more harshly than he would have wanted to his family, because he’s human. And who hasn’t yelled something nasty at a driver who carelessly cuts us off? I think that the more comfortable someone is with themselves, the more real they are in any situation.
Lance, I don’t think you’ve been putting up a wall until now, I just think that you’re doing the best you can. And that’s the only thing we can do.
Mare’s right. It’s way too easy to be whoever we want to be, brazen behind the keyboard, but we are each human. No more, no less.
I love being Writer Dad because he is an idealized version of who my wife and children see, but Sean is human and makes the same mistakes as everybody else.
Great post guys.
Sean´s last spectacular blog post..The Best Writer on the Net
Friend, I’ve done all these below too…
I’ve yelled at my kid for no good reason.
I’ve shunned my husband because of my own selfish pride.
I’ve put on the face of a happy marriage, on days when things have been ugly
I’ve never actually yelled at a driver beside me but I may have given the finger once. (or twice, when I was a bit younger.)
You’ve got me crying here. We are all the same. We all falter. We forgive ourselves andwe go on to do our best.
Thank you.
Jannie Funster´s last spectacular blog post..And the ukulele song winner is…
Friend, I’ve done all these below too…
I’ve yelled at my kid for no good reason.
I’ve shunned my husband because of my own selfish pride.
I’ve put on the face of a happy marriage, on days when things have been ugly
I’ve never actually yelled at a driver beside me but I may have given the finger once. (or twice, when I was a bit younger.)
You’ve got me crying here. We are all the same. We all falter. We forgive ourselves andwe go on to do our best.
Thank you.
Jannie Funster´s last spectacular blog post..And the ukulele song winner is…
Excellent piece today, very thoughtful. I suppose many (most?) of us would tend to put on our best face on our blogs, or whatever.
Like we would at work, perhaps, or in a job interview.
All of those things Lance listed – yep, I’ve done ‘em.
But I don’t go into work and tell everybody in the coffee room about it, much like in a job interview I wouldn’t tell the panel all of the mistakes I’ve made.
Part of being human, I guess. We make mistakes – lots of them. Everyone knows it too. We ask for forgiveness, and we receive it from The Big Guy.
We keep trying. We do the best we can, and hope for the best.
Some days, I make the wrong choices.
Hopefully most days I make the right choices.
Today, I made a right choice, turned the other cheek, literally.
(No word of a lie, someone tried to goad me into a verbal confrontation in a parking lot at 7 am today – I could have shouted the guy down, but I let it go. It just wasn’t worth it. He had a bone to pick with anyone who was handy, and I just said, “my mistake”.)
Brett Legree´s last spectacular blog post..viking mondays? courage.
Excellent piece today, very thoughtful. I suppose many (most?) of us would tend to put on our best face on our blogs, or whatever.
Like we would at work, perhaps, or in a job interview.
All of those things Lance listed – yep, I’ve done ‘em.
But I don’t go into work and tell everybody in the coffee room about it, much like in a job interview I wouldn’t tell the panel all of the mistakes I’ve made.
Part of being human, I guess. We make mistakes – lots of them. Everyone knows it too. We ask for forgiveness, and we receive it from The Big Guy.
We keep trying. We do the best we can, and hope for the best.
Some days, I make the wrong choices.
Hopefully most days I make the right choices.
Today, I made a right choice, turned the other cheek, literally.
(No word of a lie, someone tried to goad me into a verbal confrontation in a parking lot at 7 am today – I could have shouted the guy down, but I let it go. It just wasn’t worth it. He had a bone to pick with anyone who was handy, and I just said, “my mistake”.)
Brett Legree´s last spectacular blog post..viking mondays? courage.
What an awesome post. I’m sitting here thinking about what I just read and am speechless. The honesty that Lance bares is something most of us have said to ourselves, but haven’t admitted to others. I love the part where he says, “Your life is meant to be lived, and that’s about being real and being authentic. ” Amen.
Barbara Swafford´s last spectacular blog post..Not So New Blogs – From Spain to Singapore
What an awesome post. I’m sitting here thinking about what I just read and am speechless. The honesty that Lance bares is something most of us have said to ourselves, but haven’t admitted to others. I love the part where he says, “Your life is meant to be lived, and that’s about being real and being authentic. ” Amen.
Barbara Swafford´s last spectacular blog post..Not So New Blogs – From Spain to Singapore
Hi, Jamie. Hi, Lance. You’re both very courageous and honest, and I thank you.
We are all imperfect, and you’re right, that trying to hide this fact can be a burden for those of us who take ourselves and our behavior very seriously. When we reach for perfection, we know that simply announcing or confessing our sins doesn’t quite cut it. It’s noticing and eliminating our unwanted behaviors that we strive for. When we continually fail at eliminating them, we can be very hard on ourselves.
It’s even harder some of us to just make light of our failures and move on. Here’s another way, a constructive method of balancing perfection and simple awareness, which I’ve not encountered before:
My boss is a delightful guy, and everyone enjoys him because he is exactly himself. He continually monitors his behavior and he openly announces when he’s not lived up to his own code, then apologizes for it. He publicly catches himself with his own faults. Not ALL of them, just some. For instance, he might say something about someone then catch himself with “that was really bad of me!”, meaning it in a heartfelt, self-improvement way.
He apologizes all the time for things most wouldn’t even consider infractions. He’s truly trying to be the best person he can be. (He’s also one of the happiest people I’ve met!) His method encourages us to relax, be ourselves, remove our masks. It also makes us aware of our own inclinations to cover our imperfections, and gives us an example to follow on how to manage them differently.
Lance, I can imagine how difficult this was to write. Rest assured that you are not alone! I’m happy—and relieved—that you chose to share this with us. You’ve just made my life a little freer. Thank you!
Julie´s last spectacular blog post..This is the Day!
Hi, Jamie. Hi, Lance. You’re both very courageous and honest, and I thank you.
We are all imperfect, and you’re right, that trying to hide this fact can be a burden for those of us who take ourselves and our behavior very seriously. When we reach for perfection, we know that simply announcing or confessing our sins doesn’t quite cut it. It’s noticing and eliminating our unwanted behaviors that we strive for. When we continually fail at eliminating them, we can be very hard on ourselves.
It’s even harder some of us to just make light of our failures and move on. Here’s another way, a constructive method of balancing perfection and simple awareness, which I’ve not encountered before:
My boss is a delightful guy, and everyone enjoys him because he is exactly himself. He continually monitors his behavior and he openly announces when he’s not lived up to his own code, then apologizes for it. He publicly catches himself with his own faults. Not ALL of them, just some. For instance, he might say something about someone then catch himself with “that was really bad of me!”, meaning it in a heartfelt, self-improvement way.
He apologizes all the time for things most wouldn’t even consider infractions. He’s truly trying to be the best person he can be. (He’s also one of the happiest people I’ve met!) His method encourages us to relax, be ourselves, remove our masks. It also makes us aware of our own inclinations to cover our imperfections, and gives us an example to follow on how to manage them differently.
Lance, I can imagine how difficult this was to write. Rest assured that you are not alone! I’m happy—and relieved—that you chose to share this with us. You’ve just made my life a little freer. Thank you!
Julie´s last spectacular blog post..This is the Day!
Wow! I love when people get real. You described all of us at some points of out life. The blogging medium tends to paint a picture of the bloggers in only the light that is written. When you read Jungle, you envision a guy who wakes up to sunshine, kids and wife, adoringly looking on as he runs 5 miles a day, works hard, and comes up to change our lives one word at a time. However, Lance is a real person, not a fifities sitcom- go figure! Thank you both for showing this with us. If anything, it only propelled the huge respect I already had for you.
Jay´s last spectacular blog post..The Ripple Effect
Wow! I love when people get real. You described all of us at some points of out life. The blogging medium tends to paint a picture of the bloggers in only the light that is written. When you read Jungle, you envision a guy who wakes up to sunshine, kids and wife, adoringly looking on as he runs 5 miles a day, works hard, and comes up to change our lives one word at a time. However, Lance is a real person, not a fifities sitcom- go figure! Thank you both for showing this with us. If anything, it only propelled the huge respect I already had for you.
Jay´s last spectacular blog post..The Ripple Effect
Very nice! It’s so easy to go to church on Sunday and then just cruise through the week………I know I do it when I’m not aware. Our priest recently told us to remind ourselves……..”where is Jesus in my life”……..to keep him on our mind in whatever we are doing. For me that may be while changing a diaper……..be in the moment and remember why and how we are here. It is very comforting when doing the mundane daily tasks.
Annette´s last spectacular blog post..Finding Comfort in Something Other Than Food
Very nice! It’s so easy to go to church on Sunday and then just cruise through the week………I know I do it when I’m not aware. Our priest recently told us to remind ourselves……..”where is Jesus in my life”……..to keep him on our mind in whatever we are doing. For me that may be while changing a diaper……..be in the moment and remember why and how we are here. It is very comforting when doing the mundane daily tasks.
Annette´s last spectacular blog post..Finding Comfort in Something Other Than Food
Beautiful post!
I think in real life or in the virtual world, there is only so far we can take pretense. So sooner or later, this self-branding thing in the virtual world will fail – or just cost too much (effort and time and pain perhaps) if we are not authentic ….it is just a matter of time.
I think what really matters is how we handle ourselves AFTER we have made a mistake in either space…I think the beauty lies in forgiving ourselves and others and learning from it. In giving my ego a break and moving forward with grace – real or virtual world hardly matters. If I felt miserable and cried in a corner, who would live my life and who would teach my kids HOW to live? I have to live, learn, make mistakes, apologize, learn more and move on ….
In my life, I focus and celebrate the positives – it is what keeps me going. Yes we all mess up and stumble in our lives everyday, but the real truth is that we are also working very hard to be good people …. So I think it is not about denying that we are messing up, but simply accepting that and focusing on the positives.
Maya´s last spectacular blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness
Beautiful post!
I think in real life or in the virtual world, there is only so far we can take pretense. So sooner or later, this self-branding thing in the virtual world will fail – or just cost too much (effort and time and pain perhaps) if we are not authentic ….it is just a matter of time.
I think what really matters is how we handle ourselves AFTER we have made a mistake in either space…I think the beauty lies in forgiving ourselves and others and learning from it. In giving my ego a break and moving forward with grace – real or virtual world hardly matters. If I felt miserable and cried in a corner, who would live my life and who would teach my kids HOW to live? I have to live, learn, make mistakes, apologize, learn more and move on ….
In my life, I focus and celebrate the positives – it is what keeps me going. Yes we all mess up and stumble in our lives everyday, but the real truth is that we are also working very hard to be good people …. So I think it is not about denying that we are messing up, but simply accepting that and focusing on the positives.
Maya´s last spectacular blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness
Wow. It sounds like several of us have been thinking about the same thing lately. On Monday I wrote a post about my mother-in-law (How Frankie Jean left Cali and became Mary), and how her ability to be real was exactly what I needed when I met her son (now my husband) and his family in 2005. Here’s how I put it:
“…I was feeling really crappy about myself and my life. Part of me was wanting desperately to be the person everyone seemed to think I was: happy, put together, lucky, and just plain good. Another, even bigger part of me was dying to make peace with who I really was, while worrying, deep down, whether that kind of person could be loved by the people I wanted love from.”
The freedom and unconditional love that came from my new husband and his family was and is amazing. Passing that freedom along to others is a big part of what I hope I can do on my blog.
Thanks Jamie and Lance, for being so honest and open to what’s happening inside of each of you.
Kristin T.´s last spectacular blog post..Why we must be together today
Wow. It sounds like several of us have been thinking about the same thing lately. On Monday I wrote a post about my mother-in-law (How Frankie Jean left Cali and became Mary), and how her ability to be real was exactly what I needed when I met her son (now my husband) and his family in 2005. Here’s how I put it:
“…I was feeling really crappy about myself and my life. Part of me was wanting desperately to be the person everyone seemed to think I was: happy, put together, lucky, and just plain good. Another, even bigger part of me was dying to make peace with who I really was, while worrying, deep down, whether that kind of person could be loved by the people I wanted love from.”
The freedom and unconditional love that came from my new husband and his family was and is amazing. Passing that freedom along to others is a big part of what I hope I can do on my blog.
Thanks Jamie and Lance, for being so honest and open to what’s happening inside of each of you.
Kristin T.´s last spectacular blog post..Why we must be together today
Wow … now that’s real, and I respect that! I’m a Christian too … a Christ follower … and being real is SO very important to me. So much so that I used it as my blog title!
I believe that when it comes to being a Christian, going to church regularly doesn’t make you real, wearing a choir robe doesn’t make you real, teaching a class doesn’t make you real, preaching the Sunday morning sermon doesn’t make you real … what makes you real is living life in line with God’s Word.
~ If it says that we must confess our sins, ask for His forgiveness, and don’t return to those things again … then we DO that. (Acts 19:18-19)
~ If it says to meditate on God’s Word, and talk about it, and be careful to do everything written in it … then we DO that. (see Joshua 1:8)
~ If it says to forgive people when they offend us, so the Father will forgive us when we offend Him … then we DO that. (see Matt 6:14-15)
That is the kind of stuff that makes us real … studying God’s Word, then putting it into practice, knowing we aren’t going to get it right every time, but making it our determined purpose to keep on trying.
Great post Jamie and Lance … keep it real!
Wow … now that’s real, and I respect that! I’m a Christian too … a Christ follower … and being real is SO very important to me. So much so that I used it as my blog title!
I believe that when it comes to being a Christian, going to church regularly doesn’t make you real, wearing a choir robe doesn’t make you real, teaching a class doesn’t make you real, preaching the Sunday morning sermon doesn’t make you real … what makes you real is living life in line with God’s Word.
~ If it says that we must confess our sins, ask for His forgiveness, and don’t return to those things again … then we DO that. (Acts 19:18-19)
~ If it says to meditate on God’s Word, and talk about it, and be careful to do everything written in it … then we DO that. (see Joshua 1:8)
~ If it says to forgive people when they offend us, so the Father will forgive us when we offend Him … then we DO that. (see Matt 6:14-15)
That is the kind of stuff that makes us real … studying God’s Word, then putting it into practice, knowing we aren’t going to get it right every time, but making it our determined purpose to keep on trying.
Great post Jamie and Lance … keep it real!
Whoa! Awesome post and thank you so much for your brutal honesty. I’m sure that it wasn’t easy for you. I am a Christian and sinner as well, I yell at my son when I get stressed or tired or impatient! I criticize my husband and micro manage him. I’m trying so hard to break that one as he ventures into his new role of a business owner. I’m selfish, I’m insecure, I’m impatient. I have a hard time being honest with my feelings and I put things off onto other people so that I won’t look bad. Ugh! I recently confessed this to my sister, as it was her that I was doing it to and I felt sooo much better.
Am I surprised at what you wrote, no, but I am happy to learn that you are like me and you make mistakes.
Lance, just when I thought I couldn’t admire you any more than I already do, you go and do something like this.
You are awesome!!!!
Natalia Burleson´s last spectacular blog post..New Beginnings!
Whoa! Awesome post and thank you so much for your brutal honesty. I’m sure that it wasn’t easy for you. I am a Christian and sinner as well, I yell at my son when I get stressed or tired or impatient! I criticize my husband and micro manage him. I’m trying so hard to break that one as he ventures into his new role of a business owner. I’m selfish, I’m insecure, I’m impatient. I have a hard time being honest with my feelings and I put things off onto other people so that I won’t look bad. Ugh! I recently confessed this to my sister, as it was her that I was doing it to and I felt sooo much better.
Am I surprised at what you wrote, no, but I am happy to learn that you are like me and you make mistakes.
Lance, just when I thought I couldn’t admire you any more than I already do, you go and do something like this.
You are awesome!!!!
Natalia Burleson´s last spectacular blog post..New Beginnings!
Guys, I don’t know what to say. I’m just in awe of this post.
At the same time, I’m comforted. Comforted because I now know I’m not the only one thinking this way.
The post, the comments, it’s all very uplifting to me. It’s as if We Christians are finally saying, after all these years “I GET IT NOW!” I feel a movement toward a more family base, which is what Christianity is supposed to be, and away from I’m better than you, better than you, who’s better than you. And I can hear the applause loud and clear in Heaven.
I am so glad to be a part of this community, both this blogging community, and the Christian community. I’m also glad that you are all a part of it as well.
Thank you so much.
Scott´s last spectacular blog post..Rehab Reflections: You Can Walk With Me?
Guys, I don’t know what to say. I’m just in awe of this post.
At the same time, I’m comforted. Comforted because I now know I’m not the only one thinking this way.
The post, the comments, it’s all very uplifting to me. It’s as if We Christians are finally saying, after all these years “I GET IT NOW!” I feel a movement toward a more family base, which is what Christianity is supposed to be, and away from I’m better than you, better than you, who’s better than you. And I can hear the applause loud and clear in Heaven.
I am so glad to be a part of this community, both this blogging community, and the Christian community. I’m also glad that you are all a part of it as well.
Thank you so much.
Scott´s last spectacular blog post..Rehab Reflections: You Can Walk With Me?
Wow! Deep and heavy post…thank you!
Here’s what came up for me:
R – Reveal
E – Expose
A – Accept
L – Love
Namaste,
Henie
Wow! Deep and heavy post…thank you!
Here’s what came up for me:
R – Reveal
E – Expose
A – Accept
L – Love
Namaste,
Henie
I came over here by way of LANCE’S blog.
I personally have never struggled with being REAL. Real Honest, Real Blunt and Real as it gets.
Im too lazy to work that hard at hiding my ‘flaws’. I figure people will find out what I am hiding eventually, so I might as well show them who I am right off the bat.
meleah rebeccah´s last spectacular blog post..I Cooked A Meal. And Nobody Died.
I came over here by way of LANCE’S blog.
I personally have never struggled with being REAL. Real Honest, Real Blunt and Real as it gets.
Im too lazy to work that hard at hiding my ‘flaws’. I figure people will find out what I am hiding eventually, so I might as well show them who I am right off the bat.
meleah rebeccah´s last spectacular blog post..I Cooked A Meal. And Nobody Died.
One of the worst fears of my childhood what that people would see through the mask…and walk away. It took me years to get through and beyond that fear…or have I completely?
We get so busy with our blogs and our readers and our “niche” and the masks we wear that we can lose sight of who we really are…and that’s such a shame.
Who we really are is someone God loves unconditionally. It is who we are meant to be. His Light shines best through brokenness. His Grace is revealed best through our flaws and shortcomings.
None of us is perfect. We all fall short, without fail. He is the only perfection, and He is most visible to others through us when we are “real.”
Thank you, Lance and Jamie.
BJ Keltz´s last spectacular blog post..Zap!
One of the worst fears of my childhood what that people would see through the mask…and walk away. It took me years to get through and beyond that fear…or have I completely?
We get so busy with our blogs and our readers and our “niche” and the masks we wear that we can lose sight of who we really are…and that’s such a shame.
Who we really are is someone God loves unconditionally. It is who we are meant to be. His Light shines best through brokenness. His Grace is revealed best through our flaws and shortcomings.
None of us is perfect. We all fall short, without fail. He is the only perfection, and He is most visible to others through us when we are “real.”
Thank you, Lance and Jamie.
BJ Keltz´s last spectacular blog post..Zap!
I found my way from Lance’s blog. A great post on a topic that has been on a lot of minds lately. At least the minds of people I talk to regularly. I know I spent a lot of time over the past 2 years answering this question – who am I and discovering my authenticity. It’s a beautiful road to travel.
Nothing you wrote surprised me as I think so many people think or feel it but never come to terms with it.
We’re human, we swear, drink, smoke, eat too much, yell at our partners. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t done at least some of these things.
I’ve always said this is me, take it or leave it…I am doing the best I can with the knowledge I have.
This post proves, Lance, you are living up to your word for 2009 – courage!
I found my way from Lance’s blog. A great post on a topic that has been on a lot of minds lately. At least the minds of people I talk to regularly. I know I spent a lot of time over the past 2 years answering this question – who am I and discovering my authenticity. It’s a beautiful road to travel.
Nothing you wrote surprised me as I think so many people think or feel it but never come to terms with it.
We’re human, we swear, drink, smoke, eat too much, yell at our partners. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t done at least some of these things.
I’ve always said this is me, take it or leave it…I am doing the best I can with the knowledge I have.
This post proves, Lance, you are living up to your word for 2009 – courage!
Lance,
I am proud that you are being out there especially with your faith. I say be who you are and let the world deal with it! You rock my friend!!!!
Lance,
I am proud that you are being out there especially with your faith. I say be who you are and let the world deal with it! You rock my friend!!!!
Wow. all I can say is wow. I fully intend to respond to everyone, and I have part two planned for tomorrow, but right now I need to nurse a migraine.
Will be back ASAP, and thank you everyone for your kind words and support. It means a lot.
Wow. all I can say is wow. I fully intend to respond to everyone, and I have part two planned for tomorrow, but right now I need to nurse a migraine.
Will be back ASAP, and thank you everyone for your kind words and support. It means a lot.
Hi Jamie and Lance,
This is such a humbling post to read. I am humbled by Lance’s courage in agreeing to put all that he wrote up here publicly. And my admiration has shot up a hundredfold.
So many of us fear that people won’t love us if they knew who we really were, when really we are all the same. We yell at kids, we give the cold shoulder… this is all part of being flawed humans yet we try to hide it from each other.
Thanks for taking the first step to break down these artificials walls and challenging us all to be real, and honest about it.
Daphne´s last spectacular blog post..How Does Your Life Script Read?
Hi Jamie and Lance,
This is such a humbling post to read. I am humbled by Lance’s courage in agreeing to put all that he wrote up here publicly. And my admiration has shot up a hundredfold.
So many of us fear that people won’t love us if they knew who we really were, when really we are all the same. We yell at kids, we give the cold shoulder… this is all part of being flawed humans yet we try to hide it from each other.
Thanks for taking the first step to break down these artificials walls and challenging us all to be real, and honest about it.
Daphne´s last spectacular blog post..How Does Your Life Script Read?
Jamie, I can’t thank you enough for really spurring this conversation on. And for challenging me in all of this, to look deeply into what that one simple word – real – meant. Being here, on your site, today – is so comforting – and liberating. I am honored to be here with you, to be able to connect with so many, to feel a newer level of freedom. You are truly a light in this world Jamie – today you’ve been that light for me. And you’ve shined brightly. Much like the God we worship…He is indeed working through you…
Lance´s last spectacular blog post..As Real As It Gets
Jamie, I can’t thank you enough for really spurring this conversation on. And for challenging me in all of this, to look deeply into what that one simple word – real – meant. Being here, on your site, today – is so comforting – and liberating. I am honored to be here with you, to be able to connect with so many, to feel a newer level of freedom. You are truly a light in this world Jamie – today you’ve been that light for me. And you’ve shined brightly. Much like the God we worship…He is indeed working through you…
Lance´s last spectacular blog post..As Real As It Gets
@Betsy – This one was tough to write. Being “real” isn’t always easy… The Velveteen Rabbit is a great story of love. And I’ve never thought about it this was – this whole connection with “real”. Love allows “real”. And that Man Upstairs – yep, He’s the ultimate in loving. Remembering that…yes. Thank you Betsy.
@Marelisa – Hi Mare. Behind a screen (computer, walls we put up, etc) – we can work our image to be what we want it to be. It is branding – yet, is it real? Is it uniquely “us”? Maybe that’s what branding is, though – as you say – the image we want to portray – whether that is the “right” image or not. And you’re right Mare, I am definitely human! With all my faults, bad habits, etc, etc. Thanks Mare, for everything…
@Sean – Sean, that’s a great example – your “Writer Dad” moniker. It helps to portray the brand, or image, you want to be seen. Yet – behind it all – is a real person, living a real life. Thanks much Sean.
@Jannie – Thank you, very much, for this, Jannie. And guess what, I have a couple of those fingers I’ve used too. Yes we all falter – and we all will again. And we’ll dust ourselves off and get back up. And life will go on…
@Brett – Ask someone how they’re doing, and the typical response is “fine”. Yet, is everyone really “fine”? You’re right, we put our best face on sometimes before we go out (into the blogworld, to jobs, to parties, to church, …). The Big Guy is pretty good at forgiveness, all we have to do is ask. And, Brett, good move in the parking lot. Some things are worth standing up for, fighting for – and some things are just someone with a chip on their shoulder. Thank for all of this here tonight.
@Barbara – Thank you Barbara. Like I’ve mentioned, this piece was very hard for me to write – I did feel like I was exposing myself – and yet – that’s exactly what Jamie and I were talking about – getting to the “real” us. So, your words are comforting, and for that I’m grateful.
@Julie – Hi Julie. Jamie sent me a copy of the whole thing for my “okay” before she posted it today. As I read it, and even more so, as I was replying to her – saying that it was all good – there was this knot in my stomach. This was all hard to publicly say. Your boss – he has a good way to publicly noticing his faults. I’m guessing this really does help him to do these things less and less. And in making you feel more comfortable, I’m guessing that makes you more “real” also. Julie, thank you, very deeply, for everything here.
@Jay – Getting real, something I think you know a thing or two about, Jay. As I write, I can make the story be whatever I want it to be. Hopefully, what I am writing is real. Yet, it hasn’t been real on the same level as this post is. This really delved into the other side of real – the side that doesn’t get exposed as often. And the truth is, it’s not all sunshine around here. Sure, some days are. And yet, there are other days that bring on the storms of life. A fifties sitcom, I am not – I like that Jay! Jamie really did a great job of getting this whole conversation going, and taking this to the next level. Jay, thank you for all of this here today.
@Annette – That’s it, Annette – Sunday can sometimes be forgotten before Sunday afternoon has begun. Maybe it is about saying something like that – “where is Jesus in my life”. I like that. Especially in the daily tasks that can sometimes pull us down – “where is Jesus in all of this”. Thank you, Annette, for sharing this today, for reading, and for inspiring.
@Maya – Yes, we all mess up. Sometimes, I forget that. I can see people who look like everything is perfect, and think that’s that case. Yet, they’re human just like you and me. And who knows what they have hiding behind their walls. Nobody is perfect. Forgiveness, whether we find that easy or hard, is still what needs to happen before we can move on. And move on, we must. Celebrating the positive, Maya, is such a great way to accentuate all the good in the world – even knowing there is bad happening, even right within ourselves. Being authentic, being real…this was tough for me today. Tough, but oh so good. Thank you Maya, for everything you’ve said here.
@Kristin – Wow, Kristin. You are indeed passing on good. What you’ve written here is powerfully freeing. Especially in seeing where you came from to where you are today. What a journey you’ve been on – and one that is now taking you down that road of living authentically and with much love. Thank you, Krisitn, for sharing part of this journey here. Your words you’ve written provide light in the darkness tonight…
@Tammie – Yes, your blog title fits this so well! And when it comes to being a Christian – I couldn’t agree more – it’s not just about what happens inside the walls or a church that makes a person a Christian – it really is everything that happens outside of those walls. We will mess up – yet we keep on trying, keep on studying, getting closer to God – that’s what we can do. Thank you, Tammie, for this, and for sharing some Bible verses that really are so in line with all of this being said here tonight.
@Natalia – You’re right on about this not being easy for me. It really was the hardest piece I’ve written. I am just like you – a sinner – daily making mistakes. Never getting it perfectly right. Admitting that (especially here for the world to see) was not easy at all. Yet, I am finding much comfort in the words of others, in your words Natalia. The comments are oozing with “real” also. And for me, that is good. Natalia, thank you, so much. What you’re saying here is so nice of you, and I am truly grateful.
@Scott – That’s exactly how I’m feeling, also, Scott – comforted. And it really is because of the real-ness I’m feeling throughout the comments I’m reading. Was I in comfort when I sent this to Jamie – no way! So, it’s all the wonderful and caring people that are making that so. It’s you, Scott, lighting the way. You’re so right – it’s not about who’s better than who. It’s about love and caring. A wonderful community indeed! Thank you, Scott – for all of this.
@Henie – You are always so creative Henie! What a great acronym for REAL. If we could all do those four things – Reveal, Expose, Accept, and Love — just think on the possibilities! Thank your for sharing this, my friend.
@Meleah – Meleah, that’s great that you’re able to be “real” – it’s something that is not always easy for people to get to. And seeing it – seeing you – the real you – always – is comforting in that real does exist. Thank you for being “you” – the real “you”…
@BJ – Letting that mask down is hard. What will others think? I was feeling that way as I was writing this piece, knowing I would be giving it to Jamie to share with the world. God does love us unconditionally. Despite our imperfections. Despite our brokenness. Despite our sins. We have a God who is full of grace and compassion! Why can’t I always remember that? Why do I think more about what the guy down the street thinks, than what God cares about? That’s part of the journey for me – putting down that mask… Thank you, so much, BJ, for sharing here tonight.
@Stacey Shipman – It can be a beautiful road to travel – the road toward authenticity. It can also be a difficult road to travel – facing the demons that have kept us from reaching this place before. We are all human, and we all have human failings. You get what you see. And if we’re doing that – living our lives as authentically as we can – then you do get what you see. And that’s a good place to get to. And, you’re exactly right – this post took a lot of courage – I AM living my word for 2009! And right now, that feels great! Stacey, thank you, for reminding me that I’m living this word “courage”, and for sharing your wonderful thoughts on all of this.
@Laurie – Thank you, really, Laurie, for helping me get there. This, all of it, is not easy for me. Tonight I am finding much comfort in being here at this place…
@Daphne – Hi Daphne. This was difficult for me. This challenged me in many ways. This scared me. And today, now, this brings me comfort and peace. The walls we put up to protect us – do they really? Or do they only hide what there, eating away at us. Breaking down these walls – as hard as that may seem – is just what we really need to do. Daphne, thank you so much for all your continued support, for your words here tonight, and for really just being you…
Lance´s last spectacular blog post..As Real As It Gets
@Betsy – This one was tough to write. Being “real” isn’t always easy… The Velveteen Rabbit is a great story of love. And I’ve never thought about it this was – this whole connection with “real”. Love allows “real”. And that Man Upstairs – yep, He’s the ultimate in loving. Remembering that…yes. Thank you Betsy.
@Marelisa – Hi Mare. Behind a screen (computer, walls we put up, etc) – we can work our image to be what we want it to be. It is branding – yet, is it real? Is it uniquely “us”? Maybe that’s what branding is, though – as you say – the image we want to portray – whether that is the “right” image or not. And you’re right Mare, I am definitely human! With all my faults, bad habits, etc, etc. Thanks Mare, for everything…
@Sean – Sean, that’s a great example – your “Writer Dad” moniker. It helps to portray the brand, or image, you want to be seen. Yet – behind it all – is a real person, living a real life. Thanks much Sean.
@Jannie – Thank you, very much, for this, Jannie. And guess what, I have a couple of those fingers I’ve used too. Yes we all falter – and we all will again. And we’ll dust ourselves off and get back up. And life will go on…
@Brett – Ask someone how they’re doing, and the typical response is “fine”. Yet, is everyone really “fine”? You’re right, we put our best face on sometimes before we go out (into the blogworld, to jobs, to parties, to church, …). The Big Guy is pretty good at forgiveness, all we have to do is ask. And, Brett, good move in the parking lot. Some things are worth standing up for, fighting for – and some things are just someone with a chip on their shoulder. Thank for all of this here tonight.
@Barbara – Thank you Barbara. Like I’ve mentioned, this piece was very hard for me to write – I did feel like I was exposing myself – and yet – that’s exactly what Jamie and I were talking about – getting to the “real” us. So, your words are comforting, and for that I’m grateful.
@Julie – Hi Julie. Jamie sent me a copy of the whole thing for my “okay” before she posted it today. As I read it, and even more so, as I was replying to her – saying that it was all good – there was this knot in my stomach. This was all hard to publicly say. Your boss – he has a good way to publicly noticing his faults. I’m guessing this really does help him to do these things less and less. And in making you feel more comfortable, I’m guessing that makes you more “real” also. Julie, thank you, very deeply, for everything here.
@Jay – Getting real, something I think you know a thing or two about, Jay. As I write, I can make the story be whatever I want it to be. Hopefully, what I am writing is real. Yet, it hasn’t been real on the same level as this post is. This really delved into the other side of real – the side that doesn’t get exposed as often. And the truth is, it’s not all sunshine around here. Sure, some days are. And yet, there are other days that bring on the storms of life. A fifties sitcom, I am not – I like that Jay! Jamie really did a great job of getting this whole conversation going, and taking this to the next level. Jay, thank you for all of this here today.
@Annette – That’s it, Annette – Sunday can sometimes be forgotten before Sunday afternoon has begun. Maybe it is about saying something like that – “where is Jesus in my life”. I like that. Especially in the daily tasks that can sometimes pull us down – “where is Jesus in all of this”. Thank you, Annette, for sharing this today, for reading, and for inspiring.
@Maya – Yes, we all mess up. Sometimes, I forget that. I can see people who look like everything is perfect, and think that’s that case. Yet, they’re human just like you and me. And who knows what they have hiding behind their walls. Nobody is perfect. Forgiveness, whether we find that easy or hard, is still what needs to happen before we can move on. And move on, we must. Celebrating the positive, Maya, is such a great way to accentuate all the good in the world – even knowing there is bad happening, even right within ourselves. Being authentic, being real…this was tough for me today. Tough, but oh so good. Thank you Maya, for everything you’ve said here.
@Kristin – Wow, Kristin. You are indeed passing on good. What you’ve written here is powerfully freeing. Especially in seeing where you came from to where you are today. What a journey you’ve been on – and one that is now taking you down that road of living authentically and with much love. Thank you, Krisitn, for sharing part of this journey here. Your words you’ve written provide light in the darkness tonight…
@Tammie – Yes, your blog title fits this so well! And when it comes to being a Christian – I couldn’t agree more – it’s not just about what happens inside the walls or a church that makes a person a Christian – it really is everything that happens outside of those walls. We will mess up – yet we keep on trying, keep on studying, getting closer to God – that’s what we can do. Thank you, Tammie, for this, and for sharing some Bible verses that really are so in line with all of this being said here tonight.
@Natalia – You’re right on about this not being easy for me. It really was the hardest piece I’ve written. I am just like you – a sinner – daily making mistakes. Never getting it perfectly right. Admitting that (especially here for the world to see) was not easy at all. Yet, I am finding much comfort in the words of others, in your words Natalia. The comments are oozing with “real” also. And for me, that is good. Natalia, thank you, so much. What you’re saying here is so nice of you, and I am truly grateful.
@Scott – That’s exactly how I’m feeling, also, Scott – comforted. And it really is because of the real-ness I’m feeling throughout the comments I’m reading. Was I in comfort when I sent this to Jamie – no way! So, it’s all the wonderful and caring people that are making that so. It’s you, Scott, lighting the way. You’re so right – it’s not about who’s better than who. It’s about love and caring. A wonderful community indeed! Thank you, Scott – for all of this.
@Henie – You are always so creative Henie! What a great acronym for REAL. If we could all do those four things – Reveal, Expose, Accept, and Love — just think on the possibilities! Thank your for sharing this, my friend.
@Meleah – Meleah, that’s great that you’re able to be “real” – it’s something that is not always easy for people to get to. And seeing it – seeing you – the real you – always – is comforting in that real does exist. Thank you for being “you” – the real “you”…
@BJ – Letting that mask down is hard. What will others think? I was feeling that way as I was writing this piece, knowing I would be giving it to Jamie to share with the world. God does love us unconditionally. Despite our imperfections. Despite our brokenness. Despite our sins. We have a God who is full of grace and compassion! Why can’t I always remember that? Why do I think more about what the guy down the street thinks, than what God cares about? That’s part of the journey for me – putting down that mask… Thank you, so much, BJ, for sharing here tonight.
@Stacey Shipman – It can be a beautiful road to travel – the road toward authenticity. It can also be a difficult road to travel – facing the demons that have kept us from reaching this place before. We are all human, and we all have human failings. You get what you see. And if we’re doing that – living our lives as authentically as we can – then you do get what you see. And that’s a good place to get to. And, you’re exactly right – this post took a lot of courage – I AM living my word for 2009! And right now, that feels great! Stacey, thank you, for reminding me that I’m living this word “courage”, and for sharing your wonderful thoughts on all of this.
@Laurie – Thank you, really, Laurie, for helping me get there. This, all of it, is not easy for me. Tonight I am finding much comfort in being here at this place…
@Daphne – Hi Daphne. This was difficult for me. This challenged me in many ways. This scared me. And today, now, this brings me comfort and peace. The walls we put up to protect us – do they really? Or do they only hide what there, eating away at us. Breaking down these walls – as hard as that may seem – is just what we really need to do. Daphne, thank you so much for all your continued support, for your words here tonight, and for really just being you…
Lance´s last spectacular blog post..As Real As It Gets
Thank you both for your honesty.
Lance, i remember the night I began my new blog and I sat down and typed something that had been hidden to many of my readers. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. What you have shared here does not change the opinion each of us have of you. We are all human. We are all subject to “days” when we just don’t have our “real self” alive.
A couple of weeks ago I actually took some time off from reading blogs. I was finding myself digging for things that involved “self improvement” and I paused and told myself…I am fine. I am happy. I enjoy life. Sure there are things I need to work on. I have chosen not to worry about them. Take each day as it comes and life will be just fine.
I have learned that never again will I be silent about my flaws. They are part of me.
Jamie…this was a wonderful post and I know there are so many readers that benefited from this honesty.
Cricket/Tammy´s last spectacular blog post..Validation
Thank you both for your honesty.
Lance, i remember the night I began my new blog and I sat down and typed something that had been hidden to many of my readers. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. What you have shared here does not change the opinion each of us have of you. We are all human. We are all subject to “days” when we just don’t have our “real self” alive.
A couple of weeks ago I actually took some time off from reading blogs. I was finding myself digging for things that involved “self improvement” and I paused and told myself…I am fine. I am happy. I enjoy life. Sure there are things I need to work on. I have chosen not to worry about them. Take each day as it comes and life will be just fine.
I have learned that never again will I be silent about my flaws. They are part of me.
Jamie…this was a wonderful post and I know there are so many readers that benefited from this honesty.
Cricket/Tammy´s last spectacular blog post..Validation
Hi Jamie and Lance. This was an intense post and Betsy started the ball rolling with her comment, “Whoaaa. Way to lay it bare.” LOL
This was an excellent read! And, I have to be brutally honest here too and say with no disrespect AT ALL, that nothing really blew me away. Why?
Because from what I know of Lance, he IS authentic. Period. End of story. Yelling at kids for no reason, shunning a spouse because of selfish pride, belittling others for no reason, and shouting obscenities to other drivers is all surface stuff.
You have an intent to be the best you can be and you show that to your readers. I continue to enjoy reading your blog Lance and would think nothing less of you for these “secrets”. If anything you’ve given me permission to accept my own faults and move on.
Jamie, this is my first time on your blog and it won’t be my last
Davina´s last spectacular blog post..How Curious Moments Add Value
Hi Jamie and Lance. This was an intense post and Betsy started the ball rolling with her comment, “Whoaaa. Way to lay it bare.” LOL
This was an excellent read! And, I have to be brutally honest here too and say with no disrespect AT ALL, that nothing really blew me away. Why?
Because from what I know of Lance, he IS authentic. Period. End of story. Yelling at kids for no reason, shunning a spouse because of selfish pride, belittling others for no reason, and shouting obscenities to other drivers is all surface stuff.
You have an intent to be the best you can be and you show that to your readers. I continue to enjoy reading your blog Lance and would think nothing less of you for these “secrets”. If anything you’ve given me permission to accept my own faults and move on.
Jamie, this is my first time on your blog and it won’t be my last
Davina´s last spectacular blog post..How Curious Moments Add Value