Louder Than Words
January 11, 2009
Things have been pretty quiet here. But that’s okay.
When you get alone with God…and honor and embrace Him
for all that He is…
- Holy
- Changeless
- Powerful
- Peaceful
- Generous
- Genuine
- All-knowing
- Blessed
- Beautiful
- Glorious
- Jealous
- Just
- Righteous
- The source of all truth, wisdom, goodness…. love
- Eternal
- Perfect
…you may find yourself speechless. But that’s okay.
“Be still and know that I am God.”~ Psalm 40:10
Sometimes,
silence
speaks louder than a scream.
That awe-filled silence comes before complete surrender.
Embracing Romance
January 6, 2009
I wrestled with one of those “why bother” moments today. You know, those discouraging moments when you step back and evaluate your life and are horrified and nauseated by what you see? These moments used to begin a viscous cycle of feel awful, try harder, do better, miss the mark, feel awful. I’m doing things differently now. (I bought into that progressive sanctification of the believer speech and am holding on with both hands (and a few toes).
I stepped back and looked at my business and thought about what I could do better, what needed changing, and what wasn’t working. After the first few weeks, I was excited. After the first month, I found myself wondering if any of this really matters in the big scheme of things. I mean, come on, I write for the Internet! Any idiot can blog on the Net! It’s the Information Overload Age, baby! My words will never amount to more than a drop in the bucket, right?
How my Feed Reader Leads to Depressing Thoughts
This train of thought began as I was attempting to catch up my feed reader. All those little blue numbers cataloging unread posts stared at me every time I checked my email, which is every five minutes. It was driving me insane! So I sat down, determined to at least scan the posts for content and make the blue numbers stop taunting me.
But somehow, as I scanned it just seemed offensive. These blogs were in my feed reader because I shared a connection with the authors. Some I worked with, some inspired me to better things, some entertained me or showed me how to do life better. Some of these authors were friends I had corresponded with for months or years. It seemed obscene to treat their heartfelt words as fodder for speed reading so I could check another set of posts off my to-do list.
It made me wonder how many of my posts sit, unread, in someone’s feed reader nagging at their skull until they break down and scan my inner thoughts just to get rid of me? You see, Blue Duck isn’t my only blog. I write thousands of words a week, for clients, for other Blue Duck owned websites… for myself. I bleed on those pages of words; each one taking a small part of me away to be ferreted in some small corner of the Internet. To what end?
Looking Back
When I worked as an RN, I returned home exhausted but content to know that I made a difference. My efforts helped someone that day, often several someones. I fought infection, healed wounds, provided comfort, relieved pain, was a shoulder to cry on, even saved lives. I mattered to someone each day. I made a difference. I made my own corner of the world a better place, one shift at a time. I miss that feeling.
Taking the Flak
Most of my family is not supportive of my decision to forgo nursing for writing on the Internet, even after it has been paying the bills for two years now. They think I am crazy, stupid, becoming eccentric and a whole host of other descriptive synonyms.
After all, R E A L writers get published. They have books on the shelf with their byline in bold print. They have an agent, a publisher, a publicist, and a fat royalty check coming every month. Internet writers are only a cheap fad. There’s no work involved, no real skill.
Defending the Faith
Then there’s the issue of my faith. I’ve had close friends try to turn me away from advertising as a Christian business. One even went so far as to tell me I was insane for mentioning my faith; it will only hurt your business. “Jamie, you’re a talented writer. You have a decent business sense and you’re a quick learner. You could do so much more. You’re shooting yourself in the foot with this Christianity nonsense.”
“At least leave it out of the blog!” they plead. But I can’t.
I am hopelessly dependent on God for every breath I draw. Without Him I wouldn’t have the strength to get out of bed each morning. Seriously, I would have given my life to the business-end of a Glock a long time ago if it weren’t for God’s intervention each day. He whispers in my heart that I matter to Him, my life has purpose, my pain has meaning, my life has a destination other than the trash heap of humanity. My faith is woven into every fiber of my being. How can I leave it out of my writing?
If God blessed me with a natural propensity to write, shouldn’t I write about Him? If God provides for me and blesses my business, shouldn’t I give Him the credit? If He heals my pain, shouldn’t I show my scars to others who are still bleeding and tell them there is hope? I would sooner stop breathing than leave God out of my business and my writing. It was never an option.
Yet, these things are politically incorrect; taboo in today’s business world. That makes me the freaky kid in study hall who’s not quite right in the head and, did you hear?, I think she’s in some kool aid drinking cult that takes all your money and makes you marry your cousin.
My Conclusion
What’s my response? I say do it anyway.
Embracing Romance
Christianity is the greatest romance the world has ever known. Even the raciest story lines and the best Hollywood blockbusters pale in comparison to the love of my God.
He pursues me with the tireless love of a soul mate. He chases me to the farthest recesses of my mind, and leads me out by the hand into the light. He plummets into the depths of the cesspools of scum and sin to rescue me from myself, and He braves the darkest hours of my depression to fan the flames of my passion back to life. He follows me where no mortal lover would dare enter, and tolerates more than a loyal mother could take. He knows every secret, every regret, every hurt. He holds me when I sob uncontrollably, carries me when I am too weak to stand, and rejoices with my every triumph as if they were His own. His loyalty extends beyond death and knows no bounds. His love is so great that the human language cannot describe it adequately.
I have never seen my Lover’s face, nor have I heard His voice, but I know Him intimately- perhaps better than I know myself.
I have encountered God and there’s no going back to the way things were before.
The Plan
So what is my business plan for 2009? I don’t have one. That’s right. I threw it out- tore it to shreds and did the happy dance as it burned in the kitchen sink. Am I off my rocker? Nope, I’m perfectly sane.
I intend to write my own socks off this year. I will continue to blog, continue to write about my faith, and keep right on believing that God led me here for a reason. I’m dreaming big folks, and I’m praying bigger. In fact, I’m leaving it all up to prayer. My single New Year’s resolution is that I will not write nor speak a single word without praying first. That places my entire business (and my life) firmly in the hands of God alone.
So Lance and Christine, my word for 2009 is SURRENDER.
It’s a tall order on my part, I tend to like to do things my way. Not because I think I can do better, I just have a problem trusting that I won’t get hurt unless I do things myself. Well, guess what? Bring on the pain. I’m done doing things my way.
I’m talking complete surrender. I’m not holding anything back. Break out the supernatural Super Glue because I’m about to be broken in ways I never dreamed were possible. And you know what? I’m scared shitless. How’s that for a confession? And yes, I am a Christian, but I do say “shitless “when it fits and I’ve peed in the shower a time or two. I am far from perfect. 
So if you know my God, please pray for me. And if you don’t know Him, He knows your name and He loves you with an unmatched passionate abandon that must be experienced to understand. His romance is powerful and His love is gratifying.
He’s waiting for you. Dive deep.
Dream Big: Eliminating Obstacles
January 5, 2009
In this morning’s post, Dream Big: Lay the Foundation, we looked at how to build resolutions that last by dreaming big. Dreaming big is not as easy as you might think, but it is what God wants for your life.
Why Dream Big?
When you dream small, it shows how big you think God is. You fold Him up and put Him into a little package that feels safe. Then you take the reigns of your life and drive yourself wherever you think God would have you go. And when it all ends badly, we blame God for the mess. I’ve done it a hundred times.
God wants something better for each of us. What’s so big in your life that you think it’s hopeless? God can handle it. What problems in the world really get your blood boiling? God can handle those, too. What dream do you have buried so deep inside that it feels obscene and insane? God can make it happen. When you think big, it shows the world (and your kids) how big your God is.
“But I just can’t do that! It’s stupidity. I’m afraid of being hurt.” If that’s what you’re thinking, let me show you how to dream big.
God Loves You
It begins with understanding how much God loves you.
“God loves you.” What a tired and trite saying. We’ve reduced it to a greeting for all occasions and a bright yellow sticker for the bumper of your car. But the truth behind that statement has tremendous power. It has the power to set you free and transform your life.
Consider this:
- God created you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb.
- You know that freckle on the end of your nose? He put that there.
- He gave you your temper, your love for ice cream, and your sense of humor.
- He has wonderful things planned for your life.
- He loves you unconditionally with a love that goes beyond our understanding.
- He who knows you best, loves you most.
He Who Knows You Best, Loves You Most
Knowing how much God loves you, enables you to dream to big. Once you grasp God’s love for you, you are no longer defined by success and failure. You are defined by how God views you as His beloved child, His prized creation. He declares that you are precious, unconditionally. Get your mind around that, and you become free from the fear of failure and the fear of people.
How Big Is Your God?
The next step in dreaming big is to understand God’s greatness. Let Him out of that little box you’ve been keeping Him in. He’s bigger than any problem, any hurt, any circumstance that you can throw at Him. He created the universe; He can heal your marriage, save your business, and defeat your demons.
You come to Him with a plea to make the mortgage payment this month. He says, “I can do more than that. Dream Big.” You ask Him for a parking place near the door at Wal Mart.” He says, “I can do more than that. Dream Big.” You ask Him for traveling mercies and a good night’s rest. He says, “I can do more than that. Dream Big.”
It’s a new year. Dare to dream big. Succeed or fail, it won’t change what you’re worth. It won’t change how much God loves you. It won’t change a thing- except the world as we know it.
So what are you waiting for? Think outside your comfort zone. Dream Big. Pray Bigger.
Dream Big: Lay the Foundation
January 5, 2009
I have a problem with New Year’s resolutions. They don’t last. Oh, you might start out checking off each item on your newly created list every day, but after a month… or two, it gets old. You get tired or bored and the old habits creep in. Why is that?
Some people say that it takes 30 days to create a new habit. They claim repetition is the key. That may be a good guideline, but I think it’s more an issue of motivation and foundation. What motivates you to create those resolutions every year? The need for change? The desire to be better? The foundation is all wrong.
What would happen if your next list of resolutions was based on God?
Now, I’m not talking like a crackpot here. I’m talking about something bigger than you and me. I’m talking about changing the world, and not just your own little corner of it.
Not Enough Energy for the Day
So many times, we become consumed by our immediate needs. I need to pay the electric bill, I need to get caught up at work, the kids need new shoes, the car needs fixed, the cat needs fed. We have a million things on our to-do lists that keep us busy 20 hours a day. Then, if that’s not enough we have a million more “needs” that are actually wants that consume the rest of our energy. I need a bigger house, I need a vacation, I need to start a college fund for little Jimmy, I need to get in shape to compete with the 20 year old at the office.
Take a Breather
God already knows what you need. He also knows what you want. He’ll give you the necessities without your fussing and praying about the electric bill- if you trust Him to provide for you. He wants you to do more with your life. He wants you to dream big.
Success or Failure?
For many of us, we aren’t looking to succeed in 2009, we’re simply hoping we don’t fail.
What would change if you actually dreamed big enough to include a success that only God could deliver?
What’s holding you back? Is it a fear of people? Do you worry about what others think or say about you? Most of us do. A concern about our image and reputation often keeps us from great things. What could you accomplish if you were passionate enough about something to follow your heart, and God, no matter what people say?
Since I believe whole-heartedly that most Internet surfers cannot process more than 500 words ata atime, we’ll continue this post later today. In part two, we’ll look at the mechanics behind laying the foundation for dreaming big. Stay tuned and give it some thought. You could change the world.
