Happy Birthday, Dad
November 25, 2008
My father was born during the blizzard of 1950. He was my grandmother’s first baby, and she went into labor during the middle of the biggest snow storm in 50 years. My grandfather left to fetch the doctor who was a considerably smaller man than my grandfather. To get through snow that covered the tops of the mailboxes, my grandfather carried the doctor on his back most of the way home. it was a rough beginning that would set the stage for the rest of my dad’s life.
Family Life
Grandma went on to have four more little bundles of joy after my dad, but life at home was not all sugar and rainbows. Grandma was clinically depressed, and grandpa was angry- all the time. Throw in a little old-fashioned generational dysfunction and abuse for a sensitive, sweet little boy, and the end result is more than a little disturbing.
Running Away and Looking for Love
My dad spent most of his life seeking relief from the emotional torment that haunted him. Like so many other walking wounded, he joined the military the day he turned 18, just to get away from home. He was shipped overseas to repair aircraft fighting in the Vietnam War.
He came home four years later a little taller and whole lot angrier. He sought relief in drugs, alcohol, sex, and eventually the church. He met a tall, thin beauty with a quiet demeanor at the beach and asked her to marry him. She said yes, and they were married in February of the following year.
Happily Ever After?
If this were a fairy tale world, this story would end with “and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.”
But in real life, they were very young and a baby came along a little too early, weighing in at just over 3 pounds. Work was hard to find, and they were so poor that year that the only thing they had to put under the Christmas tree was a tiny baby girl. Me.
Birthday Wishes
My mother recently told me a story that changed the way I viewed my father. I was born 6 weeks early. I was underweight and couldn’t regulate my own body temperature. My mother said they had to stand me on my head to keep warm and no one was allowed to hold me. I had to stay in the protective warmth of the incubator.
The first person to hold me was my father. One of the nurses sneaked him into the NICU and let him hold me- because it was his birthday and that was all he wanted.
Looking Back
My dad is gone now. This would have been his 58th birthday.
Years of hard living, alcohol and drugs, and too many love interests took their toll on his body. He died this spring. There weren’t many people at my dad’s memorial service, even a few close family members found better things to do that day.
But despite all the awful things he said and did, and all the pain he caused in his 57 years of life, he was still loved by a few; those who could see past the gruff exterior and harsh words to the boiling pain beneath them. Those who could still see that sensitive little boy who never asked for a life of pain and misery, learned to love him as a beloved creation of God.
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you.
Protected: Overcoming Defeat
November 18, 2008
Blog Nirvana: Flaming Bloggers, Silly Puddy, and Vanilla Pudding Tag Lines
November 1, 2008
Welcome to November! Hopefully this month holds lots of goodies for the blogging world as we Americans gear up for the Big Thankful Turkey Day and the BIG football game here in Ohio, OSU vs. Michigan.
It’s been a wild week here in Blogopolis. Here’s my G-rated summary. 
“Kindness is the silly puddy version of the never-ending gobstopper. It stretches and stretches and never loses it’s flavor. Even a small amount of kindness can alter a person’s life. So, next time you think you don’t have anything to contribute, please remember kindness. It’s cheap, accessible, and it doesn’t take much of a brain to use.” Oktober 5 http://oktober5.com/2008/dear-posterity-i-was-here/
“I don’t remember sex being as torturous as this.” To which I responded: I don’t think writing is hard, not at all.” Matthew Dryden http://www.matthewdryden.ca/2008/10/29/no-really-writing-is-just-like-sex/
“I want to look at my position through a pair of well rested eyeballs rather than the blood shot blobs I’m currently seeing in the mirror. “ Dave Fowler http://www.teachmychildrenwell.com/2008/10/24/i%E2%80%99ll-sleep-when-i%E2%80%99m-dead/
“It’s a tactic of capitalizing on a person’s inability to control what they say. Silence is the ultimate nullifier of otherwise strong points of reason. No matter how solid the logic, all arguments will fail when given the silent treatment.” Oktober 5 http://oktober5.com/2008/what-to-do-when-someone-says-something-stupid/
“My favorite vanilla pudding taglines are the ones that promise to “deliver results.” Or even better, “results-oriented.” (You aren’t even saying you’ll deliver them. You just think about them a lot. Oh good.) It’s verbal wallpaper. No one knows what this means, and no one cares.” Sonia Simone commenting at CopyBlogger http://www.copyblogger.com/tagline-mystery/
Your blog is not you; it’s not your identity. If it crashes and burns that doesn’t mean you do too. We all want a successful blog with people lining up to comment and pay us homage (I know I do anyway), but it’s really not life and death. Keep some perspective. Go all out to achieve your goals (you have got written goals, right?), but don’t stay attached to the results. Not only will that mean you keep a sense of balance, but conversely it will make you more likely to achieve your aims anyway.” Tim Brownson, guest posting at Problogger http://www.problogger.net/archives/2008/10/27/the-psychology-of-blogging/
“Write about three things constantly: your topic, your thoughts, and yourself. Almost everything you write should have at least a little of all there of those blended together.” Chuck Westbrook http://chuckwestbrook.com/great-content-no-readers/
It’s been a heck of a ride on the blogging roller coaster this week, thanks for hanging on tight.
Blogging for Dollars: Tweak the Bottom Line
October 29, 2008
As our Blogging for Dollars series comes to an abrupt close, I hope you’ve found a nugget or two if information to help you along in your quest to rule Blogopolis. “Oh… you don’t want to be Blog King? You just want a few readers ad few cents to rub together? *grins* Me too!” Blogging for Dollars applies to those who blog for fun, too.
Tips for Increasing Your Blog’s ROI
While there are no shortcuts to lasting Internet success. There are a few tweaks that will help your blog achieve better ROI. Try out these basic SEO principals to help your blog succeed.
Keywords Count
Blogging without keywords is a lot like competing in a dart tournament blindfolded. You might end up with a few on the board, but you are more likely to hit some drunk in the bum with a stray dart. You have to know what keywords are appropriate for your website. Imagine your target customer sitting down at the computer to find information or services to help his business succeed. What will he type in that Google search box? If these terms are applicable to the goods or services you provide, these are your keywords. (You can also use a keyword tool to help identify keywords for your website.)
After you target your best keywords, you should use them regularly on your website for your customers to find you. Simply listing them as meta tags is not enough. They must appear in the natural text of the website to qualify for SERPS ranking. If your keyword is pumpkins, write about pumpkin pies, pumpkin recipes, growing pumpkins, prize winning pumpkins and gourds, gardening tips, love of all things orange, fall decorations, or any other related terms you can brainstorm. This saves you from stuffing your website with the word “pumpkin”.
Going, Going… Gone
The attention span of a Net searcher is only slightly more extended than a gnat with ADHD. Your title is the most important aspect of your post. The title is what draws readers to your front door. Write boring titles and your readers are gone in a matter of seconds~ right into the waiting cash register of your competition (who knows how to write a catchy title).
SEO content creation is not some mystical, magical formula for success. It is a tool to help you market your business effectively. If you treat SEO as a magic bullet, you may experience a temporary high, but the resulting crash may crush your online business for good. Quality counts. Relationships are important. Good SERPS will come naturally if you build your business on a solid foundation.
Hospitals, Doctors, and Tears. Oh My!
October 24, 2008
All is well here at Blue Duck. Please allow me to apologize for the lack of posts this week. My hiatus has extended much longer than I expected. For those who don’t know, I’ve had a busy week. Two family members had surgery this week, throwing me back into my former life as a Registered Nurse.
To add to the chaos of trips to the hospital, fixing meals, and doling out TLC, my son had his first appointment for ADHD management this week. Anyone who has been through the process of reading massive information about ADHD, trying various forms of diet and behavior modification, and endless discussions with teachers, knows how agonizing such an appointment is.
We finally decided to “try” medication after many discussions with the little guy. The first day was very productive and wonderful, until noon. Then the medication wore off with a vengeance. Following an hour’s conference with the teacher, I took home a tearful and emotional little one. (after a trip to Dairy Queen for ice cream)
My son expressed his delight at the way he felt during the morning hours, and was devastated when he felt powerless to continue to control his impulses and emotions in the afternoon. My heart broke for my boy and I began to doubt the decision to try medication.
Like most parents, I would rather pull out my toenails than watch my children suffer. But in the end, reason won out and after a call to his doctor, we agreed to continue the medication and monitor his behavior through Monday. One of the most powerful deciding factors was the look on my son’s face when he asked me to give him the medicine again the next day. He’d had a taste of so-called normalcy and wanted more. My heart broke once again as I stared into his eager, pleading face.
While this normally isn’t a parenting blog, I thought many of you might be able to relate to our story. I also felt I owed an explanation for my absence this week. Bodies are healing slowly and little lives are being changed in the Simmerman household.
I will be catching up my feed reader tomorrow and posting another round of weekly summaries late in the day. God willing, things will be closer to normal come Monday morning. Thanks for your patience, support, and emails. Each of you is more precious than you know.
The Cure for Depression: Nick Vujicic
October 19, 2008
As part of our One Month to Live small group study this week, we watched an absolutely amazing video. I mean amazing as in no one could rip their eyes from the screen as the video played. Kerry Shook interviewed Nick Vujicic, a man born without arms or legs.
Nick’s Story
This man is phenomenal. He knows what it is like to feel desperate, powerless, insignificant, frustrated, helpless…. all those feelings that overwhelm us and often are the root of deep depression. He has felt intense emotional pain, yet faces each day with a heartfelt smile, a terrific sense of humor, and palpable hope.
As I was watching the video, I was thinking that this man’s pain puts many things in my life into proper perspective. I am a firm believer that love from others, and a genuine love for others is the best treatment for depression. Nick is the embodiment of that love.
The Mandatory Disclaimer
Since it’s Sunday, this video is a little more “preachy” than is normally acceptable in blogging circles, but since it’s my blog, it’s all good. If you are offended by words like: God, Christ, love, Satan, and hope, this post and Nick’s video will be most distressing to you.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.”~Jeremiah 29:11-14
God had a plan for Nick’s life, and He has a plan for you. He can bring you out of the captivity of depression. If you liked Nick’s story, please visit http://lifewithoutlimbs.org.
Have a wonderful, hope-filled day. I’ll catch you all tomorrow. 
Update!
This post is still drawing comments over 3 weeks after it went live! Because this message is so powerful, it is catching on all over the Net!
My awesome fellow-blogger Lance has recently posted an inspiring video from Nick on his blog, The Jungle of Life. This video is much better than the one above, so be sure to visit Lance’s site for the heart-wrenching version. Thanks Lance for spreading the Word.
