photo credit: Joie Arai

Don your ten gallons and dust off (or de-mud) your favorite cowboy boots partner, cause we’ve got a song for you. I’m not actually brave enough to post an audio for a country music song on this blog, just the printed lyrics.  My brother would harass me endlessly about being a “hilljack” if I resorted to country music, but I have to admit, some of the songs are true works of art, even if they are an aquired taste.

No Honor Among Thieves, by Toby Keith

This world’s a jungle there ain’t no justice
Laws of nature rule this land
Better hide your horses, bury your whiskey
Hold your woman any way you can

Cause there ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Jokers laugh and losers grieve
Cause out here, there’s no honor among thieves

That woman you’ve been loving, she was another man’s
You stole her heart while his back was turned
On every corner there’s an outlaw waiting
Who wants to teach you what you never learned

Cause there ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Jokers laugh and losers grieve
Cause out here there’s no honor among thieves

This world’s a jungle there ain’t no justice
Laws of nature rule this land
So don’t go crying when her love goes flying to
The thieving arms of another man

There ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Love’s a deck of cards read them and weep
Cause out here there’s no honor among thieves

Yeah
There ain’t no right or wrong
Nothing’s carved in stone

“There ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone.” The only rule is there are no rules, all’s fair in love and war (and business), there’s no honor among thieves…. right? Life’s just a free ride, do whatever it takes, look out for number one, make your own dreams come true. It’s the American way.

I know, 50% of my home health patients were on Medicaid and loving it. (The poor suckers paying insurance premiums and copays generally didn’t qualify for home health, it’s too expensive.) I’ve seen people turn down paying jobs because it would interfere with their ability to collect welfare or disability. Working for a living didn’t line up with their current lifestyle of choice. Things were pretty cozy for them, there was no motivation for change- no reason to think about anyone but themselves.

Then, I would return to the nursing office where the company wanted to know where I’d been and why I wasn’t done sooner. “What do you mean you can’t change a five-layer compression dressing on bilateral legs, do a head to toe assessment, and fill a med tray in 30 minutes! You don’t need to actually care about the patient, don’t ask how they are doing! Just do the skills and get out! We don’t make money unless you see more patients in a day and chart every move you make, for Pete’s sake! What? Do you think healthcare is actually about caring? It’s about money, baby!”

So I quit. I wasn’t trained to treat “clients” like a herd of cattle, I was trained to treat “patients”. I’m not programmed that way and it felt dirty, wrong. I started freelancing after two months of catching up on sleep and family time. It felt good.

Out in the Cold, Cruel Online World

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not as naive as I look. I didn’t expect the Internet business world to be much different from corporate America. If anything, it’s worse. Don’t believe me? Let me illustrate:

• *Business professionals take your money and fail to keep their promises
• *Bloggers present an image online that doesn’t jive with their real-life personas
• *Clients fail to pay for work completed, and fail to answer the phone and emails
• *You pay for services, only to find that instead of booking an hour, you get 40 minutes and a promise to finish later (that never materializes)
• *Other bloggers steal your work, without asking, and don’t care if you find out, because what are you going to do? Tell his mom?
• *PLR writers scrape your posts (they “re-write” your original content to pass plagiarism checks, but fail to give the original author credit- or payment) and junk bloggs steal your hard work through automated feed aggregators
• *Your online friends and co-workers ignore you when there’s a Bigger Fish to talk to or a shiny bauble to chase, but never fail to ask when they need a favor
• *Branding becomes more important the relationships
• *Bloggers act like chickens fighting for a pecking order behind the scenes, but smile sweetly in the comment’s section of your favorite blog
• *Folks get on Twitter to self-promote, but never stop to read Tweets of their “friends and followers”. Plus they never fail to announce when they hit a new milestone in followers (as if anyone really cares when they don’t take time to build relationships)
• *Social media turns ugly over inflated egos and misunderstandings
• *Everyone and their brother wants to sell you the latest secret, the newest product, or the all-time best information product available- at a discounted price for the next week, 3 days, two hours.

The Internet is filled with outlaws and bandits hiding behind fluffy avatars and professionally designed headers. They’ll steal your money and your heart without a second thought. They’re only taking care of business.

But every once and awhile, a new kid moves into town. He mostly looks like everyone else, but there’s something different about him. He actually cares about what he does. He cares about his clients- and the little guy. He teaches others what he knows, with the knowledge that those protegees will someday steal his business. He gives away freebie services and goods for struggling businesses and long standing clients. He stays up late to answer just one more email from a fellow blogger.

Does he write any better than the average bear? Nope, but he writes with heart. His passion for helping others and producing a quality experience for his clients drives him to read one more book, write one more email, and pray for another five minutes to keep from feeling disenchanted with the failings of old friends.

You can be that new kid.

Online business is rough, it’s ruthless, and it will eat you alive if you let it. The difference between you and that other guy is honor, integrity, passion… caring. Money comes and goes, but a broken relationship will haunt you for the rest of your life. Don’t buy into the standards of the rest of the world. Create your own set of standards and make a difference. Honor among thieves exists if even one person cares enough to do business differently.

Are you that person?

Practice Really Does Make Perfect

The amount of time you spend doing an activity directly relates to your level of expertise. No one becomes an expert overnight, despite what those late night infomercials tell you. You have to put in the hours to master your craft. Now, this does not mean that any idiot who hits 500 golf balls a day but continues to play poorly, is an expert. The assumption is that with continued practice, your skills improve.

Chase Down Your Dream

When you choose a career or hobby to develop your expertise, the first step is examining your level of motivation. There will be difficult times and trials that will make you want to give it all up along the way. Without a huge amount of desire and motivation to get you through, you will never reach that coveted level of expert.

Motivation is a major factor in becoming an expert. “Everyone has the will to win, but there are only a few who have the will to prepare to win.”~ Mr. Starkes. Hard work is necessary and sacrifices are likely.

What Else Goes Into Making an Expert?

Many other factors influence expertise. Your circumstances, level of training, natural talent, ability, practice, and age all get dropped into the stew that becomes your level of expertise. Sociological experts will tell you that your income level, geographic location, and the size of your family also greatly affect your ability to reach your goals.

The good news is, with the Internet most of these issues are wiped out. The playing field is leveled. If your chosen profession involves online commerce or an Internet business, your motivation and time spent practicing your skills are the two biggest determinants of your level of expertise.

So Why Bother?

If mastering your craft is not a big enough motivator for you to write until your fingers bleed, perhaps your bank account is. People pay more for the work of an expert. Period. The higher your level of expertise, the larger your paycheck. For some, this may not mean an excess flow of income, it may simply mean that charging more for your work provides the freedom to pick and choose your projects and clients. Higher price tags mean you have less on your schedule, and have more time to create a better product or service for the client.

Charging more may mean that you have more free time to spend with your family, pursuing your education, or traveling. If you are living your life intentionally, you have dreams and goals for your future. Becoming an expert can help you get there.

“…obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. “~ Colossians 3:22-24 ESV

Live intentionally. Become an expert SEO Copywriter, Fiction Writer, Graphic Artist, or Life Coach.

In response to my outburst, Lily flicked her tail in my face and the kids never even looked up. (I guess that means I need to cut back on the yelling at the computer thing.)

Why Communication Sucks

I suck at communication, always have.

Short term, I do fine- great in fact. I’ve learned to adapt and I can fling social pleasantries and all the right words at a party. But get me behind closed doors, or start an honest-to-goodness relationship, and I draw a blank. My brain can’t connect point A with point B.

Turn me loose on anything other than a superficial social conversation or a professional discussion, and the conversation usually goes something like this:

“Hi! How’s your day been?”
“Oh, sorry to hear that. That sounds rough.”
“Yeah, I’ve had days like that. Are you doing better now?”
“Oh”
*insert uncomfortable silence*
(Thinks in a span of 0.8 seconds: wow, maybe I shouldn’t have asked that I hope I didn’t make things worse for her Is she staring at my forehead? I bet I have another zit I really like her shoes I wonder if ice cream would help turn her day around Oh yeah, not on her diet Oh God I have no idea what to say now Should I give her a hug? Should I change the subject? What does she need right now?)

Usually, these conversations end like this:
*insert foot into mouth, then try to find least painful way to extract it from windpipe*

Does this sound familiar?

Admitting you have a communication problem is the first step….wait, that’s for a different blog, sorry!

Seriously, before you can improve your communication, you have to admit there is room for improvement, and we all could use at least a little help, right?

For we all stumble in many ways. If someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect individual, able to control the entire body as well. 3 And if we put bits into the mouths of horses to get them to obey us, then we guide their entire bodies.~James 3:2-3

So, because it’s what we do here, let’s take a look at the Bible to find out how to improve our relationships through better communication.

The Power of the Tongue

If you haven’t realized it yet, you have tremendous power. Each of us can make or break an individual with our words. Our children, spouses, parents, co-workers, friends- all look at our perception of them to help develop their identity and self worth.

Every. Word. Counts.

Even that elderly woman in the grocery store who pushes her cart at a snail’s pace looks up at you with questioning eyes to see if you see her as a frail nuisance, or an aged treasure. A kind and patient smile and a sincere “hello” may be enough to help her get out of bed tomorrow. You just never know.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”~ Ephesians 4:29

If You Can’t Say Something Nice….

That little rule your mama taught you about playing and saying nice applies to grown-up relationships as well. Just because your spouse is acting like an ass, don’t take that as an excuse to let loose with a string of insults.

Even when a jerk client really deserves to be set straight, hold your tongue. No one wins in a battle of insults.

“He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”~ Proverbs 17:27

So next time you get a nasty email from a client, take a moment to stop, breath, and pray. Perhaps if you saw things from his perspective, you might be a little more understanding. Perhaps he never meant to be a jerk at all. Maybe he’s having a really bad day, or maybe you really screwed up and deserved a nasty email (but just don’t know it yet).

Not everyone has the same perception, reality, or self worth that you have. We are all delightfully different. In a fast paced world, it’s easy to rush to judgements or respond in anger.

Take a moment to step back and look at the big picture. Your words will be kinder, and your relationships will flourish with a little silence and TLC.

I am greatly disturbed by the number of websites I find that tout Content is Not King, become a millionaire in 3 months, or 10 SEO rules to get #1 ranking in all three search engines. My first reaction is offense.

That an author would write such drivel, expecting me to swallow it hook, line, and sinker, is like a slap in the face. I have a brain and I’m not afraid to use it. I don’t buy things from late-night infomercials, and I see through the poorly-veiled garbage you are peddling Mr.  or Ms. Get Rich Quick.

My second reaction is very near to disgust. At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, what ever happened to a job worth doing is a job well done? These “high paid” bloggers clog the Internet with their poorly written, painful to read, no nutritional value content. They are the reason when you search for desired information, you leave disgusted because all you find are penis enlargement ads, porn advertisements, the same article reprinted in 20 ways, and two unique sentences about the term you were searching for to begin with! (OK, that borders on a rant.)

The Pork Rinds and Cotton Candy

These bloggers claim that anyone can write their own website content. They preach spelling, grammar, and even information are unimportant, as long as you include the right keywords, market your blog, and buy their latest product teaching you how to make buckets of money and retire to some tropical island, all before your 21st birthday. The truly sad thing is that these bloggers seem to have collected a loyal following of Kool Aid drinkers who hang off their every word.

Can you play the system and get higher page ranking, more traffic, and your own gang of worshipers? Evidently so. Does that mean you should? Well, that depends on your values. If you value a job well done, desire to contribute to society, or take pride in your work, the answer is a resounding NO.

If you’re looking to grab the next shiny bauble dangling in front of your eyes, or make a quick dollar with no plan for tomorrow, sure, go for it. Add “blogger” to your long list of failed occupations and move on with your life. When you’re serious about building a business that offers a valuable service or product to the public, go visit websites like Men with Pens, Copyblogger, Zen Habits, Remarkablogger, or Freelance Folder.

Bad Advice

This rant post began after I read a blog that recommended submitting your articles to a service that “spins” that article and submits it to several directories to market your content. I asked the author to clarify if he defined “spin” as rewriting  the same content in 5 different ways and posting all of this duplicate content in various nooks of the Net.

His reply was immediately defensive, and confirmed that spin does indeed mean to produce duplicate content disguised with synonyms. He name dropped “John Reese” as an proponent to support his recommendation. Who is John Reese, I wondered and why should I listen to him, or you Mr. Thomas?

(I ran an Internet search for John Reese, and Google returned several links to websites that spoke unfavorably about Mr. Reese’s marketing methods and products. It appears that Mr. Reese is in Internet marketing. I am not saying Mr. Reese is anything but an honest business man trying to make a buck on the Net, neither do I ever intend to purchase his products.)

Balance is Best

What ever happened to balance? You cannot sacrifice quality content for the sake of marketing, nor can you create quality content and expect it to reach your intended audience without marketing.

Are You Improving the Internet, or Trashing it for Everyone Else?

Churning out duplicate content is not an acceptable marketing technique in my book. When you are looking for information, do you want to find 10 websites that say the exact same thing only in different words, or do you want to find 10 differing viewpoint and facts on the same topic? Duplicate content is a lot like junk mail, read it once and there’s no need to open any more just because the envelope is pink or yellow, or has smiley faces on it.

The Solution

If you are going to use this technique, at least rewrite your own content, then add something of value that was not included in the original. Your readers can’t live on cotton candy and pork rinds, they need meat and potatoes. Business ethics apply to online business, too.

Your words matter. Raise your business to the next level. Create responsible content; words with value, not just fluff.

My Apology

To make up for my whining rant disagreeableness, here’s Chuckie singing Meatloaf.  I am sorry for being a downer today, but I feel it is too important to leave unsaid.

“I would do anything for reader love, but I won’t do that.”

Click here to view the embedded video.