No Honor Among Thieves
February 11, 2009
Don your ten gallons and dust off (or de-mud) your favorite cowboy boots partner, cause we’ve got a song for you. I’m not actually brave enough to post an audio for a country music song on this blog, just the printed lyrics. My brother would harass me endlessly about being a “hilljack” if I resorted to country music, but I have to admit, some of the songs are true works of art, even if they are an aquired taste.
No Honor Among Thieves, by Toby Keith
This world’s a jungle there ain’t no justice
Laws of nature rule this land
Better hide your horses, bury your whiskey
Hold your woman any way you can
Cause there ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Jokers laugh and losers grieve
Cause out here, there’s no honor among thieves
That woman you’ve been loving, she was another man’s
You stole her heart while his back was turned
On every corner there’s an outlaw waiting
Who wants to teach you what you never learned
Cause there ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Jokers laugh and losers grieve
Cause out here there’s no honor among thieves
This world’s a jungle there ain’t no justice
Laws of nature rule this land
So don’t go crying when her love goes flying to
The thieving arms of another man
There ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone
It ain’t cheating if you don’t get caught
Love’s a deck of cards read them and weep
Cause out here there’s no honor among thieves
Yeah
There ain’t no right or wrong
Nothing’s carved in stone
“There ain’t no right or wrong, nothing’s carved in stone.” The only rule is there are no rules, all’s fair in love and war (and business), there’s no honor among thieves…. right? Life’s just a free ride, do whatever it takes, look out for number one, make your own dreams come true. It’s the American way.
I know, 50% of my home health patients were on Medicaid and loving it. (The poor suckers paying insurance premiums and copays generally didn’t qualify for home health, it’s too expensive.) I’ve seen people turn down paying jobs because it would interfere with their ability to collect welfare or disability. Working for a living didn’t line up with their current lifestyle of choice. Things were pretty cozy for them, there was no motivation for change- no reason to think about anyone but themselves.
Then, I would return to the nursing office where the company wanted to know where I’d been and why I wasn’t done sooner. “What do you mean you can’t change a five-layer compression dressing on bilateral legs, do a head to toe assessment, and fill a med tray in 30 minutes! You don’t need to actually care about the patient, don’t ask how they are doing! Just do the skills and get out! We don’t make money unless you see more patients in a day and chart every move you make, for Pete’s sake! What? Do you think healthcare is actually about caring? It’s about money, baby!”
So I quit. I wasn’t trained to treat “clients” like a herd of cattle, I was trained to treat “patients”. I’m not programmed that way and it felt dirty, wrong. I started freelancing after two months of catching up on sleep and family time. It felt good.
Out in the Cold, Cruel Online World
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not as naive as I look. I didn’t expect the Internet business world to be much different from corporate America. If anything, it’s worse. Don’t believe me? Let me illustrate:
- *Business professionals take your money and fail to keep their promises
- *Bloggers present an image online that doesn’t jive with their real-life personas
- *Clients fail to pay for work completed, and fail to answer the phone and emails
- *You pay for services, only to find that instead of booking an hour, you get 40 minutes and a promise to finish later (that never materializes)
- *Other bloggers steal your work, without asking, and don’t care if you find out, because what are you going to do? Tell his mom?
- *PLR writers scrape your posts (they “re-write” your original content to pass plagiarism checks, but fail to give the original author credit- or payment) and junk bloggs steal your hard work through automated feed aggregators
- *Your online friends and co-workers ignore you when there’s a Bigger Fish to talk to or a shiny bauble to chase, but never fail to ask when they need a favor
- *Branding becomes more important the relationships
- *Bloggers act like chickens fighting for a pecking order behind the scenes, but smile sweetly in the comment’s section of your favorite blog
- *Folks get on Twitter to self-promote, but never stop to read Tweets of their “friends and followers”. Plus they never fail to announce when they hit a new milestone in followers (as if anyone really cares when they don’t take time to build relationships)
- *Social media turns ugly over inflated egos and misunderstandings
- *Everyone and their brother wants to sell you the latest secret, the newest product, or the all-time best information product available- at a discounted price for the next
week,3 days, two hours.
The Internet is filled with outlaws and bandits hiding behind fluffy avatars and professionally designed headers. They’ll steal your money and your heart without a second thought. They’re only taking care of business.
But every once and awhile, a new kid moves into town. He mostly looks like everyone else, but there’s something different about him. He actually cares about what he does. He cares about his clients- and the little guy. He teaches others what he knows, with the knowledge that those protegees will someday steal his business. He gives away freebie services and goods for struggling businesses and long standing clients. He stays up late to answer just one more email from a fellow blogger.
Does he write any better than the average bear? Nope, but he writes with heart. His passion for helping others and producing a quality experience for his clients drives him to read one more book, write one more email, and pray for another five minutes to keep from feeling disenchanted with the failings of old friends.
You can be that new kid.
Online business is rough, it’s ruthless, and it will eat you alive if you let it. The difference between you and that other guy is honor, integrity, passion… caring. Money comes and goes, but a broken relationship will haunt you for the rest of your life. Don’t buy into the standards of the rest of the world. Create your own set of standards and make a difference. Honor among thieves exists if even one person cares enough to do business differently.
Are you that person?
I Want to Like You, Really
October 1, 2008
This morning’s post on Problogger discusses how to have great conversations on your blog. While this topic may seem to be a no-brainer, it’s not. In fact, online conversations can go seriously wrong, fast. Effective communication is critical. So is self-control.
I Want to Like You, Really
I like everyone. Well, that’s a lie. I want to like everyone, but sometimes lack of sleep, PMS, hectic schedules, and my personality get in the way.
Great conversations are possible even when you dislike the other converser. You don’t even have to bite your tongue until it bleeds. Just avoid slinging mud and don’t let the conversation turn into a personal attack. You don’t always have to agree, and you don’t always have to be polite. In fact, life would be downright boring if we all thought alike and kissed up to each other.
Read What You Write
I would be willing to bet that at least 50% of the online conversations that create confusion and conflict could be avoided if the writer would only read what they wrote before posting.
Read your response over before you hit that SUBMIT button. Did you leave out a word? Does what you wrote convey what you meant it to? Does it even make sense?
Check Your Mental State
Another key to great conversations is to check your mental state before responding. Online conversations and email matter as much as face-to-face ones. People can be hurt. You can ruin someone’s day. You can make enemies. Words are powerful, both written and spoken.
If you are having a bad day, are angry at your spouse, or frustrated with your kids, don’t take it out on your readers and customers. If you are working with a couple of hours of sleep and no caffeine because the doctor said coffee was “unhealthy” (whine, whine….BAH!), let people know you may need a day or two to recover before you can make intelligent decisions and put together coherent sentences. People will understand, they’ve been there, too.
Honor Others
Honor is often misunderstood in our culture. We hear about how we should honor others, but we blow it off as another social politeness, without understanding. Honor is treating people as valuable creations, unconditionally. This means you acknowledge that each person is created in God’s image and has inherent value, despite his or her actions.
Learning to create meaningful, engaging conversations is a complex process. I wouldn’t dare pretend to have all the answers and I don’t claim to be a world-class expert. The fact is I’m learning as I go.
Feel free to add your two cents worth, we believe in honor and conversation at Blue Duck Copy. And if you want to learn more about communication, visit Sonia Simone’s Remarkable Communication. She knows her stuff.
