“Make a Six-Figure Income as a Copywriter- With NO training or experience!”

Yeah, yeah. Sound familiar?

If you’ve poked around on the Net even a little bit, you’ve surely run into this type of ad. They promise you the world on a platter for minimal effort, and it’s all a very closely-kept secret… that can be yours for only $49.99 (or insert your favorite price tag here).

The Experience

I subscribe to a newsletter written by a very popular, successful, and well- known copywriter. I am always looking for ways to stretch my writing wings, and I know my writing could be better, so I often look for tips or advise from those who do the job well. Boy was I surprised when the newsletter arrived.

It wasn’t at all what I would expect from a successful copywriter. It was laden with boring, pushy copy, sales pitches, and run-down lead ins. Week after week, my inbox held yet another newsletter proclaiming the wonders of the author’s latest and greatest copywriting product. Never, never did they include any useful information for copywriters (other than the statement that you MUST have this product to succeed as a copywriter).

I grumbled, I groused, I considered unsubscribing. I was optimistic that somewhere, buried in all that drivel, was one golden nugget of useful knowledge that I could use. Each week, I scanned the text and tossed each one in the trash, where it belonged.

Another newsletter arrived today. The headline was catchy, I was hopeful. I clicked through… to land on a long-winded, eye-grating sales pages. I was betrayed by my own optimism.

I wanted to leave a comment to the effect of, “Do you really think anyone reads, let alone buys, this crap? Why can’t you ever produce something of value? You’re giving copywriting a bad image and you should be ashamed to pay your bills with deception and trickery.” But, alas, I saved my foot from my mouth- there was not a comment section to be found.

The Lesson

I unsubscribed today.

I decided that my time and energy are better spent elsewhere. And while I am not snarky enough to mention this writer’s name, I will say that he most likely will never read this post, nor will he notice my unsubscribing. That wasn’t my goal.

Copywriting is not simply putting up words to push,trick, or persuade people into clicking through, buying a product, or supporting a cause. It is the intricate art of changing minds. It is establishing a connection with your reader, presenting your case in a positive light, and creating trust between you and the reader.

Writing copy is delicate, hard work. It takes time, practice, sweat, and serious mental effort. It is not a task for the faint of heart. Nor is it an easy path to a paycheck.

Reading copy should not make you feel like you’ve just interacted with a sleazy used-car salesman with a bad comb-over who talks at your boobs.

Great copywriting encourages you to expand your thinking, see things from another’s point of view, and want to sit down with the author over a cup of coffee. If you can pull that off, you might just make a living at this copywriting gig.

P.S.: For Sal and Sean, I’ve left out all lists for today’s post. You’re welcome.
photo credit: 1Happysnapper

I have several posts planned on business tools, keywords, and SEO, but I feel the need to rant a little first. I suffered a bit of culture shock this morning after cocooning for over a week- I watched the news.

Naked Confrontation

Okay, perhaps I’m tired and still a little drained and I can blame it all on the flu, or perhaps today was a wake-up call for me.

I may be a little idealistic, but I found CNN down-right offensive today. I was sitting in the local McDonald’s with my boys and my ears perked up at the mention of a conflict between the Chinese navy and one of our own ships in International waters. The reporter stated that a Pentagon spokesperson described the incident as “one of the most aggressive actions we’ve seen in some time.” (Well, what a wonderfully typically vague political statement.) So, I continued to watch through the commercial to find out what happened. That’s when the disgust hit. The headline posted at the bottom of the screen read “nearly naked confrontation”.

What?

It seems that the USNS Impeccable felt threatened by the Chinese ships and responded with the only “weapon” they had- a fire hose. They soaked the sailors, who stripped to their underwear and continued the harassment.

Okay, the whole thing is a little comical if it were a Saturday morning cartoon, but this was real life. It disturbs me that CNN would stress the nakedness of the Chinese sailors over what such hostility actually means. At the end, the reporter quickly mentioned that pentagon officials speculate the Chinese government is testing the new U.S. president.

Not So Personal and Private it Can’t be Headline News

I changed channels. On Headline News, Nancy Grace was up in arms over “personal, private home videos released of Caylee Anthony and her mother”. People flashed across the screen and debated whether these videos were released to help Casey Anthony’s defense. Callers argued that the videos clearly show that the woman loves her child, therefore she couldn’t have murdered her.

What?

Casey Anthony refers to Caylee as “that little girl” when telling reporters how much she misses her daughter. Would you refer to your then-missing daughter in such an impersonal, third-person description? And who says mothers can’t suffer from mental illness, or get mixed up with some guy who wants the little bundle of joy out of the picture? Do these scenarios sound familiar? Perhaps the mother associated with the wrong people and they killed Caylee to make a point, or get even? What do home videos of a mother playing with her daughter prove? Do you really expect to see someone shooting home videos of Casey Anthony telling her daughter she is unloved, unwanted, a mistake? (Point a camera in my direction and I instantly smile. We put on our best Happily Ever After face.) Yet millions tuned in to watch the videos, because we have a sick fascination with the case. The show went on to talk about the interviews, book deals in the making, and thousands of dollars paid to Casey Anthony and her family for their stories. Does this not make anyone else nauseous?

Your Pain, My Gain

Next up on the news is everyone’s favorite feel-good talk show host- Oprah. She’s pictured telling Rhianna that Chris Brown WILL hit her again.

Okay.

Girl, if she didn’t get the the message as her lover’s fists pummeled her face and choked her into unconsciousness, do you really think telling her it will happen again is going to have any effect?

But it’s good showmanship to speak out against domestic violence and give the appearance of “helping”. Goof for you, but if you’re going to talk the talk, walk the walk. Roll up your sleeves and volunteer at a domestic violence shelter, send Dr. Phil to her house for free counseling. Don’t preach at the girl when you have no idea what it’s like to be a victim of domestic violence. Rhianna is a victim, she doesn’t deserve to be humiliated or brow-beaten over her situation.

Nauseous News

Do we have to resort to sensationalism and sex for every event? Are we that depraved?

Oh, but nearly naked sailors, pictures of bodies lined up in the streets of a foreign country, pictures of bloodied swollen faces of beautiful stars, and stories of mothers who kill their children draw ratings!

B J sent me a heads up about a recent poll on religion. It shows more and more Americans are abandoning organized religion, and giving up faith all together. I don’t blame them, organized religion smells. It’s tainted, corrupt, discouraging.

So what can we do? Pray for this country. Pray long, pray hard. Fast on behalf of America, grieve for our nation. We need it.

Rant Complete? Check.

Up later this week: Office Tools for Your Online Business. You probably have an invaluable business tool sitting unused on your computer right now. We’ll show how to save money and work smarter with common software programs you may already own.

I wrestled with one of those “why bother” moments today. You know, those discouraging moments when you step back and evaluate your life and are horrified and nauseated by what you see? These moments used to begin a viscous cycle of feel awful, try harder, do better, miss the mark, feel awful. I’m doing things differently now. (I bought into that progressive sanctification of the believer speech and am holding on with both hands (and a few toes).

I stepped back and looked at my business and thought about what I could do better, what needed changing, and what wasn’t working. After the first few weeks, I was excited. After the first month, I found myself wondering if any of this really matters in the big scheme of things. I mean, come on, I write for the Internet! Any idiot can blog on the Net! It’s the Information Overload Age, baby! My words will never amount to more than a drop in the bucket, right?

How my Feed Reader Leads to Depressing Thoughts

This train of thought began as I was attempting to catch up my feed reader. All those little blue numbers cataloging unread posts stared at me every time I checked my email, which is every five minutes. It was driving me insane! So I sat down, determined to at least scan the posts for content and make the blue numbers stop taunting me.

But somehow, as I scanned it just seemed offensive. These blogs were in my feed reader because I shared a connection with the authors. Some I worked with, some inspired me to better things, some entertained me or showed me how to do life better. Some of these authors were friends I had corresponded with for months or years. It seemed obscene to treat their heartfelt words as fodder for speed reading so I could check another set of posts off my to-do list.

It made me wonder how many of my posts sit, unread, in someone’s feed reader nagging at their skull until they break down and scan my inner thoughts just to get rid of me? You see, Blue Duck isn’t my only blog. I write thousands of words a week, for clients, for other Blue Duck owned websites… for myself. I bleed on those pages of words; each one taking a small part of me away to be ferreted in some small corner of the Internet. To what end?

Looking Back

When I worked as an RN, I returned home exhausted but content to know that I made a difference. My efforts helped someone that day, often several someones. I fought infection, healed wounds, provided comfort, relieved pain, was a shoulder to cry on, even saved lives. I mattered to someone each day. I made a difference. I made my own corner of the world a better place, one shift at a time. I miss that feeling.

Taking the Flak

Most of my family is not supportive of my decision to forgo nursing for writing on the Internet, even after it has been paying the bills for two years now. They think I am crazy, stupid, becoming eccentric and a whole host of other descriptive synonyms.

After all, R E A L writers get published. They have books on the shelf with their byline in bold print. They have an agent, a publisher, a publicist, and a fat royalty check coming every month. Internet writers are only a cheap fad. There’s no work involved, no real skill.

Defending the Faith

Then there’s the issue of my faith. I’ve had close friends try to turn me away from advertising as a Christian business. One even went so far as to tell me I was insane for mentioning my faith; it will only hurt your business. “Jamie, you’re a talented writer. You have a decent business sense and you’re a quick learner. You could do so much more. You’re shooting yourself in the foot with this Christianity nonsense.”

“At least leave it out of the blog!” they plead. But I can’t.

I am hopelessly dependent on God for every breath I draw. Without Him I wouldn’t have the strength to get out of bed each morning. Seriously, I would have given my life to the business-end of a Glock a long time ago if it weren’t for God’s intervention each day. He whispers in my heart that I matter to Him, my life has purpose, my pain has meaning, my life has a destination other than the trash heap of humanity. My faith is woven into every fiber of my being. How can I leave it out of my writing?

If God blessed me with a natural propensity to write, shouldn’t I write about Him? If God provides for me and blesses my business, shouldn’t I give Him the credit? If He heals my pain, shouldn’t I show my scars to others who are still bleeding and tell them there is hope? I would sooner stop breathing than leave God out of my business and my writing. It was never an option.

Yet, these things are politically incorrect; taboo in today’s business world. That makes me the freaky kid in study hall who’s not quite right in the head and, did you hear?, I think she’s in some kool aid drinking cult that takes all your money and makes you marry your cousin.

My Conclusion

What’s my response? I say do it anyway.

Embracing Romance

Christianity is the greatest romance the world has ever known. Even the raciest story lines and the best Hollywood blockbusters pale in comparison to the love of my God.

He pursues me with the tireless love of a soul mate. He chases me to the farthest recesses of my mind, and leads me out by the hand into the light. He plummets into the depths of the cesspools of scum and sin to rescue me from myself, and He braves the darkest hours of my depression to fan the flames of my passion back to life. He follows me where no mortal lover would dare enter, and tolerates more than a loyal mother could take. He knows every secret, every regret, every hurt. He holds me when I sob uncontrollably, carries me when I am too weak to stand, and rejoices with my every triumph as if they were His own. His loyalty extends beyond death and knows no bounds. His love is so great that the human language cannot describe it adequately.

I have never seen my Lover’s face, nor have I heard His voice, but I know Him intimately- perhaps better than I know myself.

I have encountered God and there’s no going back to the way things were before.

The Plan

So what is my business plan for 2009? I don’t have one. That’s right. I threw it out- tore it to shreds and did the happy dance as it burned in the kitchen sink. Am I off my rocker? Nope, I’m perfectly sane.

I intend to write my own socks off this year. I will continue to blog, continue to write about my faith, and keep right on believing that God led me here for a reason. I’m dreaming big folks, and I’m praying bigger. In fact, I’m leaving it all up to prayer. My single New Year’s resolution is that I will not write nor speak a single word without praying first. That places my entire business (and my life) firmly in the hands of God alone.

So Lance and Christine, my word for 2009 is SURRENDER.

It’s a tall order on my part, I tend to like to do things my way. Not because I think I can do better, I just have a problem trusting that I won’t get hurt unless I do things myself. Well, guess what? Bring on the pain. I’m done doing things my way.

I’m talking complete surrender. I’m not holding anything back. Break out the supernatural Super Glue because I’m about to be broken in ways I never dreamed were possible. And you know what? I’m scared shitless. How’s that for a confession? And yes, I am a Christian, but I do say “shitless “when it fits and I’ve peed in the shower a time or two. I am far from perfect.

So if you know my God, please pray for me. And if you don’t know Him, He knows your name and He loves you with an unmatched passionate abandon that must be experienced to understand. His romance is powerful and His love is gratifying.

He’s waiting for you. Dive deep.

I am greatly disturbed by the number of websites I find that tout Content is Not King, become a millionaire in 3 months, or 10 SEO rules to get #1 ranking in all three search engines. My first reaction is offense.

That an author would write such drivel, expecting me to swallow it hook, line, and sinker, is like a slap in the face. I have a brain and I’m not afraid to use it. I don’t buy things from late-night infomercials, and I see through the poorly-veiled garbage you are peddling Mr.  or Ms. Get Rich Quick.

My second reaction is very near to disgust. At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, what ever happened to a job worth doing is a job well done? These “high paid” bloggers clog the Internet with their poorly written, painful to read, no nutritional value content. They are the reason when you search for desired information, you leave disgusted because all you find are penis enlargement ads, porn advertisements, the same article reprinted in 20 ways, and two unique sentences about the term you were searching for to begin with! (OK, that borders on a rant.)

The Pork Rinds and Cotton Candy

These bloggers claim that anyone can write their own website content. They preach spelling, grammar, and even information are unimportant, as long as you include the right keywords, market your blog, and buy their latest product teaching you how to make buckets of money and retire to some tropical island, all before your 21st birthday. The truly sad thing is that these bloggers seem to have collected a loyal following of Kool Aid drinkers who hang off their every word.

Can you play the system and get higher page ranking, more traffic, and your own gang of worshipers? Evidently so. Does that mean you should? Well, that depends on your values. If you value a job well done, desire to contribute to society, or take pride in your work, the answer is a resounding NO.

If you’re looking to grab the next shiny bauble dangling in front of your eyes, or make a quick dollar with no plan for tomorrow, sure, go for it. Add “blogger” to your long list of failed occupations and move on with your life. When you’re serious about building a business that offers a valuable service or product to the public, go visit websites like Men with Pens, Copyblogger, Zen Habits, Remarkablogger, or Freelance Folder.

Bad Advice

This rant post began after I read a blog that recommended submitting your articles to a service that “spins” that article and submits it to several directories to market your content. I asked the author to clarify if he defined “spin” as rewriting  the same content in 5 different ways and posting all of this duplicate content in various nooks of the Net.

His reply was immediately defensive, and confirmed that spin does indeed mean to produce duplicate content disguised with synonyms. He name dropped “John Reese” as an proponent to support his recommendation. Who is John Reese, I wondered and why should I listen to him, or you Mr. Thomas?

(I ran an Internet search for John Reese, and Google returned several links to websites that spoke unfavorably about Mr. Reese’s marketing methods and products. It appears that Mr. Reese is in Internet marketing. I am not saying Mr. Reese is anything but an honest business man trying to make a buck on the Net, neither do I ever intend to purchase his products.)

Balance is Best

What ever happened to balance? You cannot sacrifice quality content for the sake of marketing, nor can you create quality content and expect it to reach your intended audience without marketing.

Are You Improving the Internet, or Trashing it for Everyone Else?

Churning out duplicate content is not an acceptable marketing technique in my book. When you are looking for information, do you want to find 10 websites that say the exact same thing only in different words, or do you want to find 10 differing viewpoint and facts on the same topic? Duplicate content is a lot like junk mail, read it once and there’s no need to open any more just because the envelope is pink or yellow, or has smiley faces on it.

The Solution

If you are going to use this technique, at least rewrite your own content, then add something of value that was not included in the original. Your readers can’t live on cotton candy and pork rinds, they need meat and potatoes. Business ethics apply to online business, too.

Your words matter. Raise your business to the next level. Create responsible content; words with value, not just fluff.

My Apology

To make up for my whining rant disagreeableness, here’s Chuckie singing Meatloaf.  I am sorry for being a downer today, but I feel it is too important to leave unsaid.

“I would do anything for reader love, but I won’t do that.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_imAA0rkxT0[/youtube]